Home » Archimedes archive » Archimedes World » AW-1997-01.adf » !RollDemo_RollOn » !RollDemo/Data/Scrolly
!RollDemo/Data/Scrolly
This website contains an archive of files for the Acorn Electron, BBC Micro, Acorn Archimedes, Commodore 16 and Commodore 64 computers, which Dominic Ford has rescued from his private collection of floppy disks and cassettes.
Some of these files were originally commercial releases in the 1980s and 1990s, but they are now widely available online. I assume that copyright over them is no longer being asserted. If you own the copyright and would like files to be removed, please contact me.
| Tape/disk: | Home » Archimedes archive » Archimedes World » AW-1997-01.adf » !RollDemo_RollOn |
| Filename: | !RollDemo/Data/Scrolly |
| Read OK: | ✔ |
| File size: | 1414 bytes |
| Load address: | 0000 |
| Exec address: | 0000 |
File contents
Hello, and welcome to Roll On. First the storyline... The year is 3042 AD and space travel has advanced somewhat (well that's if you call travelling around in a blue and black checkered ball along a track in space advanced) anyway a new track or 'interstella by-pass' has been proposed by the intergalactic space council (don't laugh it could happen!) as the existing route fallen into a state of disrepair as it is full of holes and many of the superconductors in the track are playing up which has strange affects on vehicles traveling on it. However there is one small problem... there is a planet in the way of the proposed route. The ISC (intergalactic space council) aren't to concerned about demolishing this small and insignificent little planet affectionatly known as earth, however the residents of this planet don't share this opinion. After long protests the ISC agrees to scrap the new route and to repair the existing track, on one condition... as they say 'time is money' and the new route would be very fast, so the challenge is set you must complete the old route in a set time in order for them to change their plans. Do you except the challenge? if so move your mouse curser over the Roll On icon on the icon bar and press select. well why are you still here you're s'posed to be riding along through space, does this mean that a) You don't accept the challenge. b) You've already been playing it and have given up. c) You've already completed it d) For some strange reason best known to yourself you want to read the whole of this scrolly text. or d) none of the above. well whatever your reason you are reading it but for how much longer? I think it's time to lose all but the most hardened scrolltext readers yes you've guessed it here comes the credits and hellos... Design, code and graphics by: Jeremy Cooke. Thanks go to: Edward Freeman, Matthew Slade, Nick Grant, James Wills and Melissa Cooke (my sister) for designing some levels (only one each though). Hellos go to: everyone at Quayside (Angela, Jaime, Andrew, Alice and Keith) who had to put up with me all last summer and will have to put up with me all this summer (only Angela and Keith this time though). Mum and Dad (who've had to put up with me for over 17 years). Right well that's the them out of the way (I wonder how many readers I've got left now). If you have access to E-Mail & would like to contact me (don't laugh it could happen - 2) then my address is: jeremy.c@zetnet.co.uk . Hmmm what can I talk about now? It's 9:30 in the evening of Wednesday the 13th of September 1995 I'm sitting at my computer (surprize surprize) trying to think of something to write. Hang on Smith & Jones is about to start (I'll be back in half an hour). O.K. I'm back, no hang on Have I Got News For You has started I'll be back in another half hour. O.K. O.K. I'm back again (Aren't you glad this isn't a real time scrolltext) anyway there's nothing else worth watching on tonight so I can consentrate on writing this dribble. To err is human but to really screw things up requires a computer If however you're looking for a real disaster you could always give me a call. This game has taken a ridiculously long time to write, I started it back in October '94 it is now September '95 yes it has taken almost a year to write although I didn't do anything on it between about November '94 to Easter '95 and It's been programmed on and off the rest of the time what with little things like GCSEs in the middle, still they're all over now and I can look forward to A levels (double Maths and Physics I must be mad!). Hmm I wonder how much garbage I've written so far ahh 3558 characters according to !Edit, not bad, still better keep going (don't ask me why but I will). It is now Tuesday the 9th January '96 and I'm just making a few minor updates, and I thought I'd edit this text a bit, It's now Thursday the 18th April '96 and I'm making a few more adjustments (BTW has anyone else noticed how badly Edit copes with very long lines of text?, as this scrolly is one long line and it kepps losing track of where it is, ahh well) Q. How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A. None, "It's a hardware problem". Q. How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A. None, "We'll fix it in software". Well that's enough editing for now, and I guess that'll have to do time to (as they say 'wrap') oh by the way this text finished at 4642 characters! - But it's not finished yet, how about another couple more light bulb jokes... Q. How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A. None, "We'll document it in the manual." Q. How many tech writers does it take to change a light bulb? A. None, "The user can work it out." OK that really is it from me - Jeremy Cooke (E-Mail: jeremy.c@zetnet.co.uk) Byyyyeeeeeeeeee........... make that 5152 charaters!
00000000 48 65 6c 6c 6f 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 77 65 6c 63 6f |Hello, and welco| 00000010 6d 65 20 74 6f 20 52 6f 6c 6c 20 4f 6e 2e 20 20 |me to Roll On. | 00000020 20 20 20 20 20 46 69 72 73 74 20 74 68 65 20 73 | First the s| 00000030 74 6f 72 79 6c 69 6e 65 2e 2e 2e 20 20 20 20 20 |toryline... | 00000040 20 20 20 20 20 20 54 68 65 20 79 65 61 72 20 69 | The year i| 00000050 73 20 33 30 34 32 20 41 44 20 61 6e 64 20 73 70 |s 3042 AD and sp| 00000060 61 63 65 20 74 72 61 76 65 6c 20 68 61 73 20 61 |ace travel has a| 00000070 64 76 61 6e 63 65 64 20 73 6f 6d 65 77 68 61 74 |dvanced somewhat| 00000080 20 28 77 65 6c 6c 20 74 68 61 74 27 73 20 69 66 | (well that's if| 00000090 20 79 6f 75 20 63 61 6c 6c 20 74 72 61 76 65 6c | you call travel| 000000a0 6c 69 6e 67 20 61 72 6f 75 6e 64 20 69 6e 20 61 |ling around in a| 000000b0 20 62 6c 75 65 20 61 6e 64 20 62 6c 61 63 6b 20 | blue and black | 000000c0 63 68 65 63 6b 65 72 65 64 20 62 61 6c 6c 20 61 |checkered ball a| 000000d0 6c 6f 6e 67 20 61 20 74 72 61 63 6b 20 69 6e 20 |long a track in | 000000e0 73 70 61 63 65 20 61 64 76 61 6e 63 65 64 29 20 |space advanced) | 000000f0 61 6e 79 77 61 79 20 61 20 6e 65 77 20 74 72 61 |anyway a new tra| 00000100 63 6b 20 6f 72 20 27 69 6e 74 65 72 73 74 65 6c |ck or 'interstel| 00000110 6c 61 20 62 79 2d 70 61 73 73 27 20 68 61 73 20 |la by-pass' has | 00000120 62 65 65 6e 20 70 72 6f 70 6f 73 65 64 20 62 79 |been proposed by| 00000130 20 74 68 65 20 69 6e 74 65 72 67 61 6c 61 63 74 | the intergalact| 00000140 69 63 20 73 70 61 63 65 20 63 6f 75 6e 63 69 6c |ic space council| 00000150 20 28 64 6f 6e 27 74 20 6c 61 75 67 68 20 69 74 | (don't laugh it| 00000160 20 63 6f 75 6c 64 20 68 61 70 70 65 6e 21 29 20 | could happen!) | 00000170 61 73 20 74 68 65 20 65 78 69 73 74 69 6e 67 20 |as the existing | 00000180 72 6f 75 74 65 20 66 61 6c 6c 65 6e 20 69 6e 74 |route fallen int| 00000190 6f 20 61 20 73 74 61 74 65 20 6f 66 20 64 69 73 |o a state of dis| 000001a0 72 65 70 61 69 72 20 61 73 20 69 74 20 69 73 20 |repair as it is | 000001b0 66 75 6c 6c 20 6f 66 20 68 6f 6c 65 73 20 61 6e |full of holes an| 000001c0 64 20 6d 61 6e 79 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 73 75 |d many of the su| 000001d0 70 65 72 63 6f 6e 64 75 63 74 6f 72 73 20 69 6e |perconductors in| 000001e0 20 74 68 65 20 74 72 61 63 6b 20 61 72 65 20 70 | the track are p| 000001f0 6c 61 79 69 6e 67 20 75 70 20 77 68 69 63 68 20 |laying up which | 00000200 68 61 73 20 73 74 72 61 6e 67 65 20 61 66 66 65 |has strange affe| 00000210 63 74 73 20 6f 6e 20 76 65 68 69 63 6c 65 73 20 |cts on vehicles | 00000220 74 72 61 76 65 6c 69 6e 67 20 6f 6e 20 69 74 2e |traveling on it.| 00000230 20 20 48 6f 77 65 76 65 72 20 74 68 65 72 65 20 | However there | 00000240 69 73 20 6f 6e 65 20 73 6d 61 6c 6c 20 70 72 6f |is one small pro| 00000250 62 6c 65 6d 2e 2e 2e 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 74 68 |blem... th| 00000260 65 72 65 20 69 73 20 61 20 70 6c 61 6e 65 74 20 |ere is a planet | 00000270 69 6e 20 74 68 65 20 77 61 79 20 6f 66 20 74 68 |in the way of th| 00000280 65 20 70 72 6f 70 6f 73 65 64 20 72 6f 75 74 65 |e proposed route| 00000290 2e 20 20 54 68 65 20 49 53 43 20 28 69 6e 74 65 |. The ISC (inte| 000002a0 72 67 61 6c 61 63 74 69 63 20 73 70 61 63 65 20 |rgalactic space | 000002b0 63 6f 75 6e 63 69 6c 29 20 61 72 65 6e 27 74 20 |council) aren't | 000002c0 74 6f 20 63 6f 6e 63 65 72 6e 65 64 20 61 62 6f |to concerned abo| 000002d0 75 74 20 64 65 6d 6f 6c 69 73 68 69 6e 67 20 74 |ut demolishing t| 000002e0 68 69 73 20 73 6d 61 6c 6c 20 61 6e 64 20 69 6e |his small and in| 000002f0 73 69 67 6e 69 66 69 63 65 6e 74 20 6c 69 74 74 |significent litt| 00000300 6c 65 20 70 6c 61 6e 65 74 20 61 66 66 65 63 74 |le planet affect| 00000310 69 6f 6e 61 74 6c 79 20 6b 6e 6f 77 6e 20 61 73 |ionatly known as| 00000320 20 65 61 72 74 68 2c 20 68 6f 77 65 76 65 72 20 | earth, however | 00000330 74 68 65 20 72 65 73 69 64 65 6e 74 73 20 6f 66 |the residents of| 00000340 20 74 68 69 73 20 70 6c 61 6e 65 74 20 64 6f 6e | this planet don| 00000350 27 74 20 73 68 61 72 65 20 74 68 69 73 20 6f 70 |'t share this op| 00000360 69 6e 69 6f 6e 2e 20 20 41 66 74 65 72 20 6c 6f |inion. After lo| 00000370 6e 67 20 70 72 6f 74 65 73 74 73 20 74 68 65 20 |ng protests the | 00000380 49 53 43 20 61 67 72 65 65 73 20 74 6f 20 73 63 |ISC agrees to sc| 00000390 72 61 70 20 74 68 65 20 6e 65 77 20 72 6f 75 74 |rap the new rout| 000003a0 65 20 61 6e 64 20 74 6f 20 72 65 70 61 69 72 20 |e and to repair | 000003b0 74 68 65 20 65 78 69 73 74 69 6e 67 20 74 72 61 |the existing tra| 000003c0 63 6b 2c 20 6f 6e 20 6f 6e 65 20 63 6f 6e 64 69 |ck, on one condi| 000003d0 74 69 6f 6e 2e 2e 2e 20 20 20 61 73 20 74 68 65 |tion... as the| 000003e0 79 20 73 61 79 20 27 74 69 6d 65 20 69 73 20 6d |y say 'time is m| 000003f0 6f 6e 65 79 27 20 61 6e 64 20 74 68 65 20 6e 65 |oney' and the ne| 00000400 77 20 72 6f 75 74 65 20 77 6f 75 6c 64 20 62 65 |w route would be| 00000410 20 76 65 72 79 20 66 61 73 74 2c 20 73 6f 20 74 | very fast, so t| 00000420 68 65 20 63 68 61 6c 6c 65 6e 67 65 20 69 73 20 |he challenge is | 00000430 73 65 74 20 79 6f 75 20 6d 75 73 74 20 63 6f 6d |set you must com| 00000440 70 6c 65 74 65 20 74 68 65 20 6f 6c 64 20 72 6f |plete the old ro| 00000450 75 74 65 20 69 6e 20 61 20 73 65 74 20 74 69 6d |ute in a set tim| 00000460 65 20 69 6e 20 6f 72 64 65 72 20 66 6f 72 20 74 |e in order for t| 00000470 68 65 6d 20 74 6f 20 63 68 61 6e 67 65 20 74 68 |hem to change th| 00000480 65 69 72 20 70 6c 61 6e 73 2e 20 20 44 6f 20 79 |eir plans. Do y| 00000490 6f 75 20 65 78 63 65 70 74 20 74 68 65 20 63 68 |ou except the ch| 000004a0 61 6c 6c 65 6e 67 65 3f 20 69 66 20 73 6f 20 6d |allenge? if so m| 000004b0 6f 76 65 20 79 6f 75 72 20 6d 6f 75 73 65 20 63 |ove your mouse c| 000004c0 75 72 73 65 72 20 6f 76 65 72 20 74 68 65 20 52 |urser over the R| 000004d0 6f 6c 6c 20 4f 6e 20 69 63 6f 6e 20 6f 6e 20 74 |oll On icon on t| 000004e0 68 65 20 69 63 6f 6e 20 62 61 72 20 61 6e 64 20 |he icon bar and | 000004f0 70 72 65 73 73 20 73 65 6c 65 63 74 2e 20 20 20 |press select. | 00000500 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 | | * 00000530 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 77 65 6c 6c 20 | well | 00000540 77 68 79 20 61 72 65 20 79 6f 75 20 73 74 69 6c |why are you stil| 00000550 6c 20 68 65 72 65 20 79 6f 75 27 72 65 20 73 27 |l here you're s'| 00000560 70 6f 73 65 64 20 74 6f 20 62 65 20 72 69 64 69 |posed to be ridi| 00000570 6e 67 20 61 6c 6f 6e 67 20 74 68 72 6f 75 67 68 |ng along through| 00000580 20 73 70 61 63 65 2c 20 64 6f 65 73 20 74 68 69 | space, does thi| 00000590 73 20 6d 65 61 6e 20 74 68 61 74 20 61 29 20 59 |s mean that a) Y| 000005a0 6f 75 20 64 6f 6e 27 74 20 61 63 63 65 70 74 20 |ou don't accept | 000005b0 74 68 65 20 63 68 61 6c 6c 65 6e 67 65 2e 20 20 |the challenge. | 000005c0 62 29 20 59 6f 75 27 76 65 20 61 6c 72 65 61 64 |b) You've alread| 000005d0 79 20 62 65 65 6e 20 70 6c 61 79 69 6e 67 20 69 |y been playing i| 000005e0 74 20 61 6e 64 20 68 61 76 65 20 67 69 76 65 6e |t and have given| 000005f0 20 75 70 2e 20 20 63 29 20 59 6f 75 27 76 65 20 | up. c) You've | 00000600 61 6c 72 65 61 64 79 20 63 6f 6d 70 6c 65 74 65 |already complete| 00000610 64 20 69 74 20 20 64 29 20 46 6f 72 20 73 6f 6d |d it d) For som| 00000620 65 20 73 74 72 61 6e 67 65 20 72 65 61 73 6f 6e |e strange reason| 00000630 20 62 65 73 74 20 6b 6e 6f 77 6e 20 74 6f 20 79 | best known to y| 00000640 6f 75 72 73 65 6c 66 20 79 6f 75 20 77 61 6e 74 |ourself you want| 00000650 20 74 6f 20 72 65 61 64 20 74 68 65 20 77 68 6f | to read the who| 00000660 6c 65 20 6f 66 20 74 68 69 73 20 73 63 72 6f 6c |le of this scrol| 00000670 6c 79 20 74 65 78 74 2e 20 6f 72 20 64 29 20 6e |ly text. or d) n| 00000680 6f 6e 65 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 61 62 6f 76 65 |one of the above| 00000690 2e 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 77 65 6c 6c 20 77 68 |. well wh| 000006a0 61 74 65 76 65 72 20 79 6f 75 72 20 72 65 61 73 |atever your reas| 000006b0 6f 6e 20 79 6f 75 20 61 72 65 20 72 65 61 64 69 |on you are readi| 000006c0 6e 67 20 69 74 20 62 75 74 20 66 6f 72 20 68 6f |ng it but for ho| 000006d0 77 20 6d 75 63 68 20 6c 6f 6e 67 65 72 3f 20 20 |w much longer? | 000006e0 20 20 20 20 49 20 74 68 69 6e 6b 20 69 74 27 73 | I think it's| 000006f0 20 74 69 6d 65 20 74 6f 20 6c 6f 73 65 20 61 6c | time to lose al| 00000700 6c 20 62 75 74 20 74 68 65 20 6d 6f 73 74 20 68 |l but the most h| 00000710 61 72 64 65 6e 65 64 20 73 63 72 6f 6c 6c 74 65 |ardened scrollte| 00000720 78 74 20 72 65 61 64 65 72 73 20 79 65 73 20 79 |xt readers yes y| 00000730 6f 75 27 76 65 20 67 75 65 73 73 65 64 20 69 74 |ou've guessed it| 00000740 20 68 65 72 65 20 63 6f 6d 65 73 20 74 68 65 20 | here comes the | 00000750 63 72 65 64 69 74 73 20 61 6e 64 20 68 65 6c 6c |credits and hell| 00000760 6f 73 2e 2e 2e 20 20 20 20 44 65 73 69 67 6e 2c |os... Design,| 00000770 20 63 6f 64 65 20 61 6e 64 20 67 72 61 70 68 69 | code and graphi| 00000780 63 73 20 62 79 3a 20 4a 65 72 65 6d 79 20 43 6f |cs by: Jeremy Co| 00000790 6f 6b 65 2e 20 20 54 68 61 6e 6b 73 20 67 6f 20 |oke. Thanks go | 000007a0 74 6f 3a 20 45 64 77 61 72 64 20 46 72 65 65 6d |to: Edward Freem| 000007b0 61 6e 2c 20 4d 61 74 74 68 65 77 20 53 6c 61 64 |an, Matthew Slad| 000007c0 65 2c 20 4e 69 63 6b 20 47 72 61 6e 74 2c 20 4a |e, Nick Grant, J| 000007d0 61 6d 65 73 20 57 69 6c 6c 73 20 61 6e 64 20 4d |ames Wills and M| 000007e0 65 6c 69 73 73 61 20 43 6f 6f 6b 65 20 28 6d 79 |elissa Cooke (my| 000007f0 20 73 69 73 74 65 72 29 20 66 6f 72 20 64 65 73 | sister) for des| 00000800 69 67 6e 69 6e 67 20 73 6f 6d 65 20 6c 65 76 65 |igning some leve| 00000810 6c 73 20 28 6f 6e 6c 79 20 6f 6e 65 20 65 61 63 |ls (only one eac| 00000820 68 20 74 68 6f 75 67 68 29 2e 20 20 20 20 20 48 |h though). H| 00000830 65 6c 6c 6f 73 20 67 6f 20 74 6f 3a 20 65 76 65 |ellos go to: eve| 00000840 72 79 6f 6e 65 20 61 74 20 51 75 61 79 73 69 64 |ryone at Quaysid| 00000850 65 20 28 41 6e 67 65 6c 61 2c 20 4a 61 69 6d 65 |e (Angela, Jaime| 00000860 2c 20 41 6e 64 72 65 77 2c 20 41 6c 69 63 65 20 |, Andrew, Alice | 00000870 61 6e 64 20 4b 65 69 74 68 29 20 77 68 6f 20 68 |and Keith) who h| 00000880 61 64 20 74 6f 20 70 75 74 20 75 70 20 77 69 74 |ad to put up wit| 00000890 68 20 6d 65 20 61 6c 6c 20 6c 61 73 74 20 73 75 |h me all last su| 000008a0 6d 6d 65 72 20 61 6e 64 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 68 61 |mmer and will ha| 000008b0 76 65 20 74 6f 20 70 75 74 20 75 70 20 77 69 74 |ve to put up wit| 000008c0 68 20 6d 65 20 61 6c 6c 20 74 68 69 73 20 73 75 |h me all this su| 000008d0 6d 6d 65 72 20 28 6f 6e 6c 79 20 41 6e 67 65 6c |mmer (only Angel| 000008e0 61 20 61 6e 64 20 4b 65 69 74 68 20 74 68 69 73 |a and Keith this| 000008f0 20 74 69 6d 65 20 74 68 6f 75 67 68 29 2e 20 4d | time though). M| 00000900 75 6d 20 61 6e 64 20 44 61 64 20 28 77 68 6f 27 |um and Dad (who'| 00000910 76 65 20 68 61 64 20 74 6f 20 70 75 74 20 75 70 |ve had to put up| 00000920 20 77 69 74 68 20 6d 65 20 66 6f 72 20 6f 76 65 | with me for ove| 00000930 72 20 31 37 20 79 65 61 72 73 29 2e 20 20 20 20 |r 17 years). | 00000940 20 20 52 69 67 68 74 20 77 65 6c 6c 20 74 68 61 | Right well tha| 00000950 74 27 73 20 74 68 65 20 74 68 65 6d 20 6f 75 74 |t's the them out| 00000960 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 77 61 79 20 28 49 20 77 | of the way (I w| 00000970 6f 6e 64 65 72 20 68 6f 77 20 6d 61 6e 79 20 72 |onder how many r| 00000980 65 61 64 65 72 73 20 49 27 76 65 20 67 6f 74 20 |eaders I've got | 00000990 6c 65 66 74 20 6e 6f 77 29 2e 20 20 49 66 20 79 |left now). If y| 000009a0 6f 75 20 68 61 76 65 20 61 63 63 65 73 73 20 74 |ou have access t| 000009b0 6f 20 45 2d 4d 61 69 6c 20 26 20 77 6f 75 6c 64 |o E-Mail & would| 000009c0 20 6c 69 6b 65 20 74 6f 20 63 6f 6e 74 61 63 74 | like to contact| 000009d0 20 6d 65 20 28 64 6f 6e 27 74 20 6c 61 75 67 68 | me (don't laugh| 000009e0 20 69 74 20 63 6f 75 6c 64 20 68 61 70 70 65 6e | it could happen| 000009f0 20 2d 20 32 29 20 74 68 65 6e 20 6d 79 20 61 64 | - 2) then my ad| 00000a00 64 72 65 73 73 20 69 73 3a 20 6a 65 72 65 6d 79 |dress is: jeremy| 00000a10 2e 63 40 7a 65 74 6e 65 74 2e 63 6f 2e 75 6b 20 |.c@zetnet.co.uk | 00000a20 2e 20 20 20 48 6d 6d 6d 20 77 68 61 74 20 63 61 |. Hmmm what ca| 00000a30 6e 20 49 20 74 61 6c 6b 20 61 62 6f 75 74 20 6e |n I talk about n| 00000a40 6f 77 3f 20 20 49 74 27 73 20 39 3a 33 30 20 69 |ow? It's 9:30 i| 00000a50 6e 20 74 68 65 20 65 76 65 6e 69 6e 67 20 6f 66 |n the evening of| 00000a60 20 57 65 64 6e 65 73 64 61 79 20 74 68 65 20 31 | Wednesday the 1| 00000a70 33 74 68 20 6f 66 20 53 65 70 74 65 6d 62 65 72 |3th of September| 00000a80 20 31 39 39 35 20 49 27 6d 20 73 69 74 74 69 6e | 1995 I'm sittin| 00000a90 67 20 61 74 20 6d 79 20 63 6f 6d 70 75 74 65 72 |g at my computer| 00000aa0 20 28 73 75 72 70 72 69 7a 65 20 73 75 72 70 72 | (surprize surpr| 00000ab0 69 7a 65 29 20 74 72 79 69 6e 67 20 74 6f 20 74 |ize) trying to t| 00000ac0 68 69 6e 6b 20 6f 66 20 73 6f 6d 65 74 68 69 6e |hink of somethin| 00000ad0 67 20 74 6f 20 77 72 69 74 65 2e 20 48 61 6e 67 |g to write. Hang| 00000ae0 20 6f 6e 20 53 6d 69 74 68 20 26 20 4a 6f 6e 65 | on Smith & Jone| 00000af0 73 20 69 73 20 61 62 6f 75 74 20 74 6f 20 73 74 |s is about to st| 00000b00 61 72 74 20 28 49 27 6c 6c 20 62 65 20 62 61 63 |art (I'll be bac| 00000b10 6b 20 69 6e 20 68 61 6c 66 20 61 6e 20 68 6f 75 |k in half an hou| 00000b20 72 29 2e 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 |r). | 00000b30 4f 2e 4b 2e 20 49 27 6d 20 62 61 63 6b 2c 20 6e |O.K. I'm back, n| 00000b40 6f 20 68 61 6e 67 20 6f 6e 20 48 61 76 65 20 49 |o hang on Have I| 00000b50 20 47 6f 74 20 4e 65 77 73 20 46 6f 72 20 59 6f | Got News For Yo| 00000b60 75 20 68 61 73 20 73 74 61 72 74 65 64 20 49 27 |u has started I'| 00000b70 6c 6c 20 62 65 20 62 61 63 6b 20 69 6e 20 61 6e |ll be back in an| 00000b80 6f 74 68 65 72 20 68 61 6c 66 20 68 6f 75 72 2e |other half hour.| 00000b90 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 4f 2e 4b 2e 20 | O.K. | 00000ba0 4f 2e 4b 2e 20 49 27 6d 20 62 61 63 6b 20 61 67 |O.K. I'm back ag| 00000bb0 61 69 6e 20 28 41 72 65 6e 27 74 20 79 6f 75 20 |ain (Aren't you | 00000bc0 67 6c 61 64 20 74 68 69 73 20 69 73 6e 27 74 20 |glad this isn't | 00000bd0 61 20 72 65 61 6c 20 74 69 6d 65 20 73 63 72 6f |a real time scro| 00000be0 6c 6c 74 65 78 74 29 20 61 6e 79 77 61 79 20 74 |lltext) anyway t| 00000bf0 68 65 72 65 27 73 20 6e 6f 74 68 69 6e 67 20 65 |here's nothing e| 00000c00 6c 73 65 20 77 6f 72 74 68 20 77 61 74 63 68 69 |lse worth watchi| 00000c10 6e 67 20 6f 6e 20 74 6f 6e 69 67 68 74 20 73 6f |ng on tonight so| 00000c20 20 49 20 63 61 6e 20 63 6f 6e 73 65 6e 74 72 61 | I can consentra| 00000c30 74 65 20 6f 6e 20 77 72 69 74 69 6e 67 20 74 68 |te on writing th| 00000c40 69 73 20 64 72 69 62 62 6c 65 2e 20 20 54 6f 20 |is dribble. To | 00000c50 65 72 72 20 69 73 20 68 75 6d 61 6e 20 20 20 20 |err is human | 00000c60 20 20 20 62 75 74 20 74 6f 20 72 65 61 6c 6c 79 | but to really| 00000c70 20 73 63 72 65 77 20 74 68 69 6e 67 73 20 75 70 | screw things up| 00000c80 20 72 65 71 75 69 72 65 73 20 61 20 63 6f 6d 70 | requires a comp| 00000c90 75 74 65 72 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 49 66 20 68 6f |uter If ho| 00000ca0 77 65 76 65 72 20 79 6f 75 27 72 65 20 6c 6f 6f |wever you're loo| 00000cb0 6b 69 6e 67 20 66 6f 72 20 61 20 72 65 61 6c 20 |king for a real | 00000cc0 64 69 73 61 73 74 65 72 20 79 6f 75 20 63 6f 75 |disaster you cou| 00000cd0 6c 64 20 61 6c 77 61 79 73 20 67 69 76 65 20 6d |ld always give m| 00000ce0 65 20 61 20 63 61 6c 6c 2e 20 20 20 20 20 54 68 |e a call. Th| 00000cf0 69 73 20 67 61 6d 65 20 68 61 73 20 74 61 6b 65 |is game has take| 00000d00 6e 20 61 20 72 69 64 69 63 75 6c 6f 75 73 6c 79 |n a ridiculously| 00000d10 20 6c 6f 6e 67 20 74 69 6d 65 20 74 6f 20 77 72 | long time to wr| 00000d20 69 74 65 2c 20 49 20 73 74 61 72 74 65 64 20 69 |ite, I started i| 00000d30 74 20 62 61 63 6b 20 69 6e 20 4f 63 74 6f 62 65 |t back in Octobe| 00000d40 72 20 27 39 34 20 69 74 20 69 73 20 6e 6f 77 20 |r '94 it is now | 00000d50 53 65 70 74 65 6d 62 65 72 20 27 39 35 20 79 65 |September '95 ye| 00000d60 73 20 69 74 20 68 61 73 20 74 61 6b 65 6e 20 61 |s it has taken a| 00000d70 6c 6d 6f 73 74 20 61 20 79 65 61 72 20 74 6f 20 |lmost a year to | 00000d80 77 72 69 74 65 20 61 6c 74 68 6f 75 67 68 20 49 |write although I| 00000d90 20 64 69 64 6e 27 74 20 64 6f 20 61 6e 79 74 68 | didn't do anyth| 00000da0 69 6e 67 20 6f 6e 20 69 74 20 62 65 74 77 65 65 |ing on it betwee| 00000db0 6e 20 61 62 6f 75 74 20 4e 6f 76 65 6d 62 65 72 |n about November| 00000dc0 20 27 39 34 20 74 6f 20 45 61 73 74 65 72 20 27 | '94 to Easter '| 00000dd0 39 35 20 61 6e 64 20 49 74 27 73 20 62 65 65 6e |95 and It's been| 00000de0 20 70 72 6f 67 72 61 6d 6d 65 64 20 6f 6e 20 61 | programmed on a| 00000df0 6e 64 20 6f 66 66 20 74 68 65 20 72 65 73 74 20 |nd off the rest | 00000e00 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 74 69 6d 65 20 77 68 61 74 |of the time what| 00000e10 20 77 69 74 68 20 6c 69 74 74 6c 65 20 74 68 69 | with little thi| 00000e20 6e 67 73 20 6c 69 6b 65 20 47 43 53 45 73 20 69 |ngs like GCSEs i| 00000e30 6e 20 74 68 65 20 6d 69 64 64 6c 65 2c 20 73 74 |n the middle, st| 00000e40 69 6c 6c 20 74 68 65 79 27 72 65 20 61 6c 6c 20 |ill they're all | 00000e50 6f 76 65 72 20 6e 6f 77 20 61 6e 64 20 49 20 63 |over now and I c| 00000e60 61 6e 20 6c 6f 6f 6b 20 66 6f 72 77 61 72 64 20 |an look forward | 00000e70 74 6f 20 41 20 6c 65 76 65 6c 73 20 28 64 6f 75 |to A levels (dou| 00000e80 62 6c 65 20 4d 61 74 68 73 20 61 6e 64 20 50 68 |ble Maths and Ph| 00000e90 79 73 69 63 73 20 49 20 6d 75 73 74 20 62 65 20 |ysics I must be | 00000ea0 6d 61 64 21 29 2e 20 20 48 6d 6d 20 49 20 77 6f |mad!). Hmm I wo| 00000eb0 6e 64 65 72 20 68 6f 77 20 6d 75 63 68 20 67 61 |nder how much ga| 00000ec0 72 62 61 67 65 20 49 27 76 65 20 77 72 69 74 74 |rbage I've writt| 00000ed0 65 6e 20 73 6f 20 66 61 72 20 61 68 68 20 33 35 |en so far ahh 35| 00000ee0 35 38 20 63 68 61 72 61 63 74 65 72 73 20 61 63 |58 characters ac| 00000ef0 63 6f 72 64 69 6e 67 20 74 6f 20 21 45 64 69 74 |cording to !Edit| 00000f00 2c 20 6e 6f 74 20 62 61 64 2c 20 73 74 69 6c 6c |, not bad, still| 00000f10 20 62 65 74 74 65 72 20 6b 65 65 70 20 67 6f 69 | better keep goi| 00000f20 6e 67 20 28 64 6f 6e 27 74 20 61 73 6b 20 6d 65 |ng (don't ask me| 00000f30 20 77 68 79 20 62 75 74 20 49 20 77 69 6c 6c 29 | why but I will)| 00000f40 2e 20 20 49 74 20 69 73 20 6e 6f 77 20 54 75 65 |. It is now Tue| 00000f50 73 64 61 79 20 74 68 65 20 39 74 68 20 4a 61 6e |sday the 9th Jan| 00000f60 75 61 72 79 20 27 39 36 20 61 6e 64 20 49 27 6d |uary '96 and I'm| 00000f70 20 6a 75 73 74 20 6d 61 6b 69 6e 67 20 61 20 66 | just making a f| 00000f80 65 77 20 6d 69 6e 6f 72 20 75 70 64 61 74 65 73 |ew minor updates| 00000f90 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 49 20 74 68 6f 75 67 68 74 20 |, and I thought | 00000fa0 49 27 64 20 65 64 69 74 20 74 68 69 73 20 74 65 |I'd edit this te| 00000fb0 78 74 20 61 20 62 69 74 2c 20 20 49 74 27 73 20 |xt a bit, It's | 00000fc0 6e 6f 77 20 54 68 75 72 73 64 61 79 20 74 68 65 |now Thursday the| 00000fd0 20 31 38 74 68 20 41 70 72 69 6c 20 27 39 36 20 | 18th April '96 | 00000fe0 61 6e 64 20 49 27 6d 20 6d 61 6b 69 6e 67 20 61 |and I'm making a| 00000ff0 20 66 65 77 20 6d 6f 72 65 20 61 64 6a 75 73 74 | few more adjust| 00001000 6d 65 6e 74 73 20 28 42 54 57 20 68 61 73 20 61 |ments (BTW has a| 00001010 6e 79 6f 6e 65 20 65 6c 73 65 20 6e 6f 74 69 63 |nyone else notic| 00001020 65 64 20 68 6f 77 20 62 61 64 6c 79 20 45 64 69 |ed how badly Edi| 00001030 74 20 63 6f 70 65 73 20 77 69 74 68 20 76 65 72 |t copes with ver| 00001040 79 20 6c 6f 6e 67 20 6c 69 6e 65 73 20 6f 66 20 |y long lines of | 00001050 74 65 78 74 3f 2c 20 61 73 20 74 68 69 73 20 73 |text?, as this s| 00001060 63 72 6f 6c 6c 79 20 69 73 20 6f 6e 65 20 6c 6f |crolly is one lo| 00001070 6e 67 20 6c 69 6e 65 20 61 6e 64 20 69 74 20 6b |ng line and it k| 00001080 65 70 70 73 20 6c 6f 73 69 6e 67 20 74 72 61 63 |epps losing trac| 00001090 6b 20 6f 66 20 77 68 65 72 65 20 69 74 20 69 73 |k of where it is| 000010a0 2c 20 61 68 68 20 77 65 6c 6c 29 20 51 2e 20 48 |, ahh well) Q. H| 000010b0 6f 77 20 6d 61 6e 79 20 63 6f 6d 70 75 74 65 72 |ow many computer| 000010c0 20 70 72 6f 67 72 61 6d 6d 65 72 73 20 64 6f 65 | programmers doe| 000010d0 73 20 69 74 20 74 61 6b 65 20 74 6f 20 63 68 61 |s it take to cha| 000010e0 6e 67 65 20 61 20 6c 69 67 68 74 20 62 75 6c 62 |nge a light bulb| 000010f0 3f 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 |? | 00001100 20 41 2e 20 4e 6f 6e 65 2c 20 22 49 74 27 73 20 | A. None, "It's | 00001110 61 20 68 61 72 64 77 61 72 65 20 70 72 6f 62 6c |a hardware probl| 00001120 65 6d 22 2e 20 20 51 2e 20 48 6f 77 20 6d 61 6e |em". Q. How man| 00001130 79 20 68 61 72 64 77 61 72 65 20 65 6e 67 69 6e |y hardware engin| 00001140 65 65 72 73 20 64 6f 65 73 20 69 74 20 74 61 6b |eers does it tak| 00001150 65 20 74 6f 20 63 68 61 6e 67 65 20 61 20 6c 69 |e to change a li| 00001160 67 68 74 20 62 75 6c 62 3f 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 |ght bulb? | 00001170 20 20 20 20 20 20 41 2e 20 4e 6f 6e 65 2c 20 22 | A. None, "| 00001180 57 65 27 6c 6c 20 66 69 78 20 69 74 20 69 6e 20 |We'll fix it in | 00001190 73 6f 66 74 77 61 72 65 22 2e 20 20 20 57 65 6c |software". Wel| 000011a0 6c 20 74 68 61 74 27 73 20 65 6e 6f 75 67 68 20 |l that's enough | 000011b0 65 64 69 74 69 6e 67 20 66 6f 72 20 20 6e 6f 77 |editing for now| 000011c0 2c 20 20 61 6e 64 20 49 20 67 75 65 73 73 20 74 |, and I guess t| 000011d0 68 61 74 27 6c 6c 20 68 61 76 65 20 74 6f 20 64 |hat'll have to d| 000011e0 6f 20 74 69 6d 65 20 74 6f 20 28 61 73 20 74 68 |o time to (as th| 000011f0 65 79 20 73 61 79 20 27 77 72 61 70 27 29 20 6f |ey say 'wrap') o| 00001200 68 20 62 79 20 74 68 65 20 77 61 79 20 74 68 69 |h by the way thi| 00001210 73 20 74 65 78 74 20 66 69 6e 69 73 68 65 64 20 |s text finished | 00001220 61 74 20 34 36 34 32 20 63 68 61 72 61 63 74 65 |at 4642 characte| 00001230 72 73 21 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 2d 20 20 |rs! - | 00001240 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 42 75 74 20 69 74 27 73 | But it's| 00001250 20 6e 6f 74 20 66 69 6e 69 73 68 65 64 20 79 65 | not finished ye| 00001260 74 2c 20 68 6f 77 20 61 62 6f 75 74 20 61 6e 6f |t, how about ano| 00001270 74 68 65 72 20 63 6f 75 70 6c 65 20 6d 6f 72 65 |ther couple more| 00001280 20 6c 69 67 68 74 20 62 75 6c 62 20 6a 6f 6b 65 | light bulb joke| 00001290 73 2e 2e 2e 20 20 20 20 51 2e 20 48 6f 77 20 6d |s... Q. How m| 000012a0 61 6e 79 20 73 6f 66 74 77 61 72 65 20 65 6e 67 |any software eng| 000012b0 69 6e 65 65 72 73 20 64 6f 65 73 20 69 74 20 74 |ineers does it t| 000012c0 61 6b 65 20 74 6f 20 63 68 61 6e 67 65 20 61 20 |ake to change a | 000012d0 6c 69 67 68 74 20 62 75 6c 62 3f 20 20 20 20 20 |light bulb? | 000012e0 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 41 2e 20 4e 6f 6e 65 2c | A. None,| 000012f0 20 22 57 65 27 6c 6c 20 64 6f 63 75 6d 65 6e 74 | "We'll document| 00001300 20 69 74 20 69 6e 20 74 68 65 20 6d 61 6e 75 61 | it in the manua| 00001310 6c 2e 22 20 20 20 20 51 2e 20 48 6f 77 20 6d 61 |l." Q. How ma| 00001320 6e 79 20 74 65 63 68 20 77 72 69 74 65 72 73 20 |ny tech writers | 00001330 64 6f 65 73 20 69 74 20 74 61 6b 65 20 74 6f 20 |does it take to | 00001340 63 68 61 6e 67 65 20 61 20 6c 69 67 68 74 20 62 |change a light b| 00001350 75 6c 62 3f 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 |ulb? | 00001360 20 41 2e 20 4e 6f 6e 65 2c 20 22 54 68 65 20 75 | A. None, "The u| 00001370 73 65 72 20 63 61 6e 20 77 6f 72 6b 20 69 74 20 |ser can work it | 00001380 6f 75 74 2e 22 20 20 20 20 20 4f 4b 20 20 74 68 |out." OK th| 00001390 61 74 20 72 65 61 6c 6c 79 20 69 73 20 69 74 20 |at really is it | 000013a0 66 72 6f 6d 20 6d 65 20 2d 20 4a 65 72 65 6d 79 |from me - Jeremy| 000013b0 20 43 6f 6f 6b 65 20 28 45 2d 4d 61 69 6c 3a 20 | Cooke (E-Mail: | 000013c0 6a 65 72 65 6d 79 2e 63 40 7a 65 74 6e 65 74 2e |jeremy.c@zetnet.| 000013d0 63 6f 2e 75 6b 29 20 42 79 79 79 79 65 65 65 65 |co.uk) Byyyyeeee| 000013e0 65 65 65 65 65 65 2e 2e 2e 2e 2e 2e 2e 2e 2e 2e |eeeeee..........| 000013f0 2e 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 6d 61 6b 65 20 |. make | 00001400 74 68 61 74 20 35 31 35 32 20 63 68 61 72 61 74 |that 5152 charat| 00001410 65 72 73 21 |ers!| 00001414
.