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v.� "Please all, and you will please none. "
�0� "Don't ask me; I was hired for my looks. "
�P� "You are secretive in your dealings but never to the extent of trickery. "
�U� "You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact. "
�?� "The best laid schemes o' mice and men gang aft a-gley. "
�L� "You will be a great success both in the business world and society. "
�T� "Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once. "
�Z� "No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature. "
�<� "Engineers do it precisely. Technicians do it a lot. "
�1� "Test-tube babies shouldn't throw stones. "
�L� "For a holy stint, a moth of the cloth gave up his woolens for lint. "
�� "Good friends and fish stink after 3 days. - Ben Franklin.... Especially if you don't refrigerate them. - Terry Mahone. "
�2� "Trust him, but still keep your eyes open. "
�6� "Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone. "
A� "Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long. "
=� "You are never selfish with your advice or your help. "
8� "You will be made happy by receipt of good news. "
 B� "He who steps on others to reach the top has good balance. "
*M� "We have a equal opportunity Calculus class -- it's fully integrated. "
4N� "Behind every successful man you'll find a woman with nothing to wear. "
>>� "You may attend a party where strange customs prevail. "
H"� "A lie in time saves nine. "
RK� "Why do so many foods come packaged in plastic? It's quite uncanny. "
\)� "He who hesitates is constipated. "
f+� "F U CN RD THS U CNT SPL WRTH A DM. "
pX� "A guy has to get fresh once in a while so the girl doesn't lose her confidence. "
zD� "You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home. "
�o� "Economics is called the dismal science, but that's just because most economists are dismal scientists. "
�0� "Did Mt. St. Helens make Seattle Wash. . "
�4� "Your business will assume vast proportions. "
�N� "Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self. "
�7� "Do not read this fortune under penalty of law. "
�/� "The best things in life are for a fee. "
�/� "An expert is someone from out of town. "
�)� "Someone is speaking well of you. "
�S� "Handle all business ventures with discretion so you do not end up a loser. "
�1� "Only cream and bastards rise to the top. "
�G� "If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice. "
�5� "By following the good, you learn to be good. "
�:� "If you wish to succeed, consult three old people. "
\� "APL is a write only language: You can write programs in it;  but try and read them. "
*� "Rubber bands have snappy endings. "
H� "People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle. "
$L� "Rotten wood can not be carved - Confucius (Analects, Book 5, Ch. 9. "
.0� "Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid. "
8J� "There are more ways of killing a cat than choking her with cream. "
B(� "Chastity is its own punishment. "
LA� "COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance. "
V'� "Jesus saves.... Immanuel Kant. "
`F� "Your program is sick!  Shoot it and put it out of its memory. "
jJ� "Next time, give 'the gift that keeps on giving': a female kitten. "
t+� "Cleanliness is next to impossible. "
~8� "The proof of a system's value is its existence. "
�<� "Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgment. "
�/� "Crazee Edeee, his prices are INSANE!!. "
�8� "Every time I lose weight.... It finds me again. "
�.� "Abortion is a miscarriage of justice. "
�@� "You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy. "
�4� "Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot. "
�P� "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. "
�&� "Lonely is a man without love. "
�Z� "Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your thumbs. "
�6� "Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion. "
�^� "Philadelphia isn't dull - it just seems so because it is next to exciting Camden, NJ. "
�w� "Lives there a man with soul so dead.... Who never to himself hath said.... 'Fuck this shit, I'm going to bed!. "
=� "Paraplegics of the world - Stand up for your rights. "

7� "Be tactful; overlook not your own opportunity. "
C� "If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average. "
0� "These days govt. is a four letter word. "
(]� "She's learned to say things with her eyes that others waste time putting into words. "
2'� "Disk crunch - please clean up. "
<6� "You will be unusually successful in business. "
FA� "Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. "
P*� "Words are the voice of the heart. "
Z1� "Domestic happiness and faithful friends. "
dI� "Roses are red; Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic, And so am I. "
n� "1 bulls, 3 cow. "
x<� "Money may buy friendship but money cannot buy love. "
�$� "Happiness is twin floppies. "
�(� "Disregard the previous fortune. "
�+� "You will be married within a year. "
�=� "White dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship. "
�_� "Lt. Uhura says: 'Subspace Communications - It's the next best thing to beaming there!. "
�9� "Mobius strippers never show you their back side. "
�K� "The light of a hundred stars does not equal the light of the moon. "
�:� "Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax. "
�&� "Nice computers don't go down. "
�;� "Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down. "
�>� "That must be wonderful!  I dont understand it at all. "
�K� "If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend. "
�7� "Beware of friends who are false and deceitful. "
9� "You may be conservative, cautious and practical. "
?� "You are generous and always think of the other fellow. "
<� "You have an ability to sense and know higher truth. "
"L� "How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent. "
,(� "Boycott meat - suck your thumb. "
6� "Eschew Obfuscation. "
@%� "Fauns are never Satyr-sfied. "
Ju� "Every program has (at least) two purposes: the one for which it was written and another for which it wasn't. "
T(� "You will be successful in love. "
^>� "I'm an influential person - gravitationally speaking. "
h� "I come unbundled. "
rT� "Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon. "
|%� "A king's castle is his home. "
�6� "Eat Shit!... 10 Billion flies can't be wrong. "
�A� "Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone. "
�8� "You cannot kill time without injuring eternity. "
�5� "Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure. "
�.� "The fish that escaped is the big one. "
�9� "Mount St. Helens should have used earth control. "
�O� "You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone. "
�%� "Interchangeable parts won't. "
�.� "You need not worry about your future. "
�C� "Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you. "
�O� "Quantity is no substitute for quality, but its the only one we've got. "
�e� "Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, then you find there is nothing in it. "
�7� "Some men are discovered; others are found out. "
+� "Friendship one soul in two bodies. "
W� "Prosperity is when your conversation changes from car pools to swimming pools. "
:� "Creditors have much better memories than debtors. "
&T� "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.... MAE WEST. "
0@� "Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate. "
:&� "Archimedes had no principles. "
DT� "I'm all for computer dating.... But I wouldn't want one to marry my sister. "
N/� "Your present plans will be successful. "
X/� "Spare the rod and spoil the drag race. "
bP� "Man do not mind bust in mouth if provided by beautiful voluptuous lady. "
lE� "Old truck drivers never die, they just get a new Peterbuilt. "
v0� "Do students of Zen Buddhism do Om-work. "
�K� "You cannot propel youself forward by patting yourself on the back. "
�:� "Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semi-colons. "
�� "Above all else - sky. "
�/� "Help stamp out and abolish redundancy. "
�M� "If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary form. "
�;� "Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples. "
�5� "You will step on the soil of many countries. "
�C� "This fortune is void where prohibited, licensed, or taxed. "
�'� "A rolling disk gathers no MOS. "
�6� "A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese. "
�)� "Editing is a rewording activity. "
�g� "God did not create the world in seven days. He partied for six and then pulled an all-nighter. "
�W� "Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other again. "
J� "If your feet smell and your nose runs - you're built upside down. "
M� "Note to mothers: when diapering your babies, don't do anything rash. "
/� "LSD melts your mind, not in your hand. "
 :� "A present, over which you will shed tears of joy. "
*7� "Recent investments will yield a slight profit. "
4#� "It's later than you think. "
>X� "When God endowed human beings with brains, He did not intend to guarantee them. "
H.� "How you look depends on where you go. "
R5� "Your love life will be happy and harmonious. "
\ � "You now have Asian Flu. "
fS� "Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true. "
p_� "Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement. "
z-� "He who hesitates is sometimes saved. "
�)� "Tennis players have fuzzy balls. "
�A� "Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance. "
�W� "If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands. "
�� "Don't eat yellow snow. "
�6� "Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. "
�.� "My cup hath runneth'd over with love. "
�'� "Midas was into golden showers. "
�B� "The cost of liberty is less than the price of oppression. "
�]� "He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on cruise. "
�(� "Basic is a high level languish. "
�0� "Share your happiness with others today. "
�)� "Give me librium or give me meth. "
�G� "Business is like oil, it won't mix with anything but business. "
	H� "Structured Programming supports the law of the excluded muddle. "
	;� "It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree. "
	K� "I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours. "
	$3� "Good health will be yours for a long time. "
	.N� "You are faithful to duty, adaptable to environment, loyal to friends. "
	8*� "Air pollution is a mist demeanor. "
	B,� "Everyone is entitled to my opinion. "
	L&� "Reality does not exist - yet. "
	VI� "If you believe in gambling, in the end you will sell your house. "
	`]� "If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it. Quit work and play for once. "
	j0� "He who laughs last didn't get the joke. "
	t=� "Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past. "
	~l� "In computing, turning the obvious into the useful is a living definition of the word 'frustration'. "
	�&� "My components are indiscreet. "
	�5� "It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize. "
	�L� "You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite. "
	�F� "Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either. "
	�@� "History books which contain no lies are extremely dull. "
	�A� "Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life. "
	�R� "The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad. "
	�H� "He likes to flirt, but toward you his intentions are honorable. "
	�P� "The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction. "
	�7� "Oedipus come home, all is forgiven.... Mother. "
	�;� "He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut. "
	�;� "There's at least one fool in every married couple. "
H� "It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things. "

A� "You are versatile, energetic, artistic and good-natured. "
V� "Heard on Noahs' ark:  Sailing is fun.... but scrubbing the decks is aardvark. "
>� "Engineers never die - They just lose their tolerance. "
(E� "Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May. "
2+� "Vice Versa - poems about brothels. "
<� "Chaste makes waste. "
FL� "We all like praise, but a hike in our pay is the best kind of ways. "
PL� "In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. "
Z+� "Integrity is praised, and starves. "
d(� "Art is your fate; don't debate. "
na� "The expert is a person who avoids the small errors as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy. "
xB� "You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems. "
�B� "You will be recognized and honored as a community leader. "
�B� "To be born rich is an accident; to die rich is a miracle. "
�5� "Jealousy is all the fun you think they have. "
�U� "To make tax forms true they should read 'Income Owed Us' and Incommode You'. "
�3� "Today is the last day of your life so far. "
�F� "Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. - Thorea. "
�.� "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. "
�!� "I will never lie to you. "
�I� "I've given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself. "
�9� "You are a person of firm, yet honest intentions. "
�H� "You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you. "
�A� "You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward. "
�E� "There will always be some delightful mysteries in your life. "
Q� "The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord. "
B� "If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted. "
W� "Nothing makes a politician forget campaign promises faster than being elected. "
"M� "Flying is the art of throwing yourself at the ground... and missing. "
,5� "No man can be a patriot on an empty stomach. "
6C� "If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit. "
@T� "Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal, if you are all thumbs. "
JF� "You are careful and systematic in your business arrangements. "
TA� "An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's in a rut. "
^b� "Many pages make a thick book, except for pocket bibles which are on very very thin paper. "
h� "E. COLI eats shit. "
rN� "Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response. "
|T� "How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying?... When his lips move. "
�7� "We are not punished for our sins, but by them. "
�<� "God made the integers; all else is the work of Man. "
�,� "Hawaii is as American as apple poi. "
�*� "There's no fuel like an old fuel. "
�r� "Give a woman an inch, and she'll park a car in it.... Give a speculator an inch, and he'll build a condo. "
�5� "Be self-reliant and your success is assured. "
�>� "A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle. "
�R� "Neuroses are red, Melancholia's blue.... I'm schizophrenic, What are you. "
�� "Get off your ASCII. "
�?� "You will be proud in manner but tolerant and generous. "
�� "That does not compute. "
�T� "Never leave anything to chance; make sure all your crimes are premeditated. "
�b� "You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with earth is concerned. "
B� "He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last. "
E� "Old bakers never die, you just can't get a rise out of them. "
a� "I disagree with what you say, but will defend to the death your right to tell such LIES. "
&U� "The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. "
02� "Life is like a diaper - short and loaded. "
:2� "Children should be obscene and not heard. "
DC� "You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business. "
N?� "All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly. "
X?� "Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses. "
b/� "Atheism is a non-prophet organization. "
l*� "Does the name Pavlov ring a bell. "
vD� "Never drink from your finger bowl - it contains only water. "
�-� "Whistler's mother is off her rocker. "
�E� "The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others. "
�� "Equal bytes for women. "
�>� "He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose. "
�3� "Don't sweat it - it's only ones and zeros. "
�)� "Money is the root of all wealth. "
�3� "Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery. "
�C� "Your nature demands love and your happiness depends on it. "
�I� "It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa. "
�2� "To give happines is to deserve happiness. "
�O� "Here comes the orator, with his flood of words and his drop of reason. "
� � "Weekend, where are you. "
�!� "Go climb a gravity well. "

D� "It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder. "

Y� "Somebody's terminal is dropping bits. I found a pile of them over in the corner. "

� "Clones are people two. "

 1� "A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs. "

*"� "Sorry No FORTUNES today!. "

4=� "He who is henpecked may lend an ear to other chicks. "

>=� "This fortune will soon appear as a Bantam paperback. "

H<� "You are a general favorite among your many friends. "

R+� "Matrimony is the root of all evil. "

\.� "On a clear disk you can seek forever. "

f=� "You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates. "

pB� "Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way. "

zI� "Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. -- VOLTAIR. "

�F� "You understand human nature and sympathize with its weakness. "

�%� "A penny saved is ridiculous. "

�B� "You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex. "

�B� "The next dreadful thing to a battle lost is a battle won. "

�� "Nice guys get sick. "

�P� "It is far better to be deceived than to be undeceived by those we love. "

�W� "Shift to the left, shift to the right, mask in, mask out, BYTE, BYTE, BYTE !!. "

�6� "Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate. "

�/� "Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie. "

�M� "Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face. "

�N� "You are interested in higher education whether material or spiritual. "

�X� "You will be a guest at a gay party that'll have inportant consequences for you. "

�5� "Computers can never replace human stupidity. "
)� "Make a wish, it might come true. "
S� "It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag. "
-� "Bedfellows make strange politicians. "
$F� "No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail. "
.9� "Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure. "
8_� "It's later than you think, the joint Russian-American space mission has already begun. "
B4� "Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot. "
L@� "Your place in the path of life is in the driver's seat. "
VB� "The more you cultivate people the more you turn up clods. "
`3� "For success today, look first to yourself. "
j?� "Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him. "
t4� "The only rose without thorns is friendship. "
~@� "The cost of feathers has risen.... Now even down is up. "
�H� "A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never. "
�D� "The person who is all wrapped up in himself is overdressed. "
�+� "Make this evening a memorable one. "
�%� "Love is sentimental measles. "
�j� "Often statistics are used as a drunken man uses lampposts - for support rather than illumination. "
�<� "Keep grandmothers off the streets - legalize bingo. "
�:� "It is unwise to trust those you do not know well. "
�L� "Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. "
�&� "Immanuel Kant but Kubla Khan. "
�#� "Bugs are Sons of Glitches. "
�T� "If all the girls at Vassar were laid end to end.... I wouldn't be suprised. "
�"� "Happiness is a hard disk. "
&� "Hire the morally handicapped. "

W� "Your temporary financial embarassment will be relieved in a surprising manner. "
/� "Walt Disney is in suspended animation. "
9� "You will be traveling and coming into a fortune. "
(>� "Smile! It makes people wonder what you've been up to. "
2� "Friction is a drag. "
<[� "The solution of this problem is trivial and is left as an exercise for the reader. "
FP� "The person you rejected yesterday could make you happy, if you say yes. "
PY� "Whatever happened to the good old days when sex was dirty and the air was clean. "
Z*� "Peters hungry, time to eat lunch. "
dF� "Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinment. "
nB� "Middle Age: Halfway between adolescence and obsolescence. "
x<� "Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots. "
�,� "Misster, do you vant to buy a duck. "
�9� "One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it. "
�^� "The reason the government thinks you're just a number is because it's just a machine. "
�=� "I fear explanations explanatory of things explained. "
�Y� "It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. "
�5� "Digital circuits are made from analog parts. "
�8� "You love your home and want it to be beautiful. "
�;� "If you continually give you will continually have. "
�s� "Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo. "
�:� "If you knew what Mona Lisa knew, you'd smile too. "
�2� "It's a poor workman who blames his tools. "
�;� "Hush! Hush! Secret! I came from a fortune factory. "
�#� "When in doubt, lead trump. "
E� "No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. "
_� "A wise man can see more from a mountain top than a fool can from the bottom of a well. "
C� "There's so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me. "
":� "Fortune says: Don't look back, always look ahead. "
,5� "Do it today.... Tomorrow it will be illegal. "
62� "SDRAWKCAB spelled backwards is backwards. "
@H� "Meekness is uncommon patience in planning a worthwhile revenge. "
J*� "Smile! Things can only get worse. "
TC� "You will receive a legacy which will place you above want. "
^.� "If you see an onion ring - answer it. "
hN� "Daisies of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains. "
rA� "Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow. "
|R� "You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life. "
�%� "A stitch in time saves nine. "
�S� "More people have died in Teddy Kennedy's car than in nuclear power plants. "
�!� "Chemists have solutions. "
�� "You might have mail. "
�R� "'I've heard of wooden legs and plastic arms, but a hickory dickory, Doc?. "
�P� "What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five-cent bagel. "
�L� "He who is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. "
�7� "If you eat yogurt you'll have lots of culture. "
�>� "You are tricky, but never to the point of dishonesty. "
�/� "Israel's actions are often Suez-cidal. "
�,� "Satire is what closes in New Haven. "
�9� "Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. "
�&� "Help fight continental drift. "
n� "Ours is a world where people don't know what they want, and are willing to go through hell to get it. "
$� "A cow eats without a knife. "
Z� "It is commonly not your practice to make up your mind until the very last minute. "
&K� "At our last party we were all making Mary, then we jumped for Joy. "
02� "He thinks he could easily win your heart. "
:#� "If it works, Don't fix it. "
D/� "'LOVE' is nothing but 'SEX' mispelled. "
N>� "Winning isn't everything, but then losing is nothing. "
X� "Biology grows on you. "
b?� "Traveler, there is no path, paths are made by walking. "
l>� "Reality is for people who can't face science fiction. "
v.� "Keep America Beautiful....  emigrate. "
�=� "COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods. "
�@� "Eliminate government waste no matter how much it costs. "
�j� "A zygote is a gamete's method of producing more gametes. This may be the purpose of the universe. "
�$� "Man and wife make one fool. "
�� "Nuke the Whales. "
�[� "The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it. "
�9� "It is fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life. "
�%� "All programmers want arrays. "
�5� "Our houseplants have a good sense of humous. "
�(� "Jesus Saves.... Vishnu invests. "
�-� "You will have long and healthy life. "
�/� "The heart is wiser than the intellect. "
�L� "You are an individual interested in foreward thrust and the future. "
9� "Computer Science is embarrassed by the computer. "
-� "HePL ! Imat arppdei sndi eht eDP-P1. "
,� "Be alert, America needs more lerts. "
 A� "People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses. "
*?� "To err is human, to forgive is against company policy. "
4O� "We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears. "
>Q� "Nixon saw deep throat ten times, but he still hasn't gotten it down Pat. "
HT� "If you make a mistake you right it immediately to the best of your ability. "
R(� "Love America - or give it back. "
\F� "The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. "
f8� "Postmen never die.... they just lose their zip. "
p+� "Many a family tree needs trimming. "
zE� "Cheap things are of no value, valuable things are not cheap. "
�F� "Wernher von Braun settled for a V-2 when he coulda had a V-8. "
�D� "His life was formal; his actions seemed ruled with a ruler. "
�[� "When you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself Americanized. "
�+� "A hangover is the wrath of grapes. "
�7� "Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience. "
�T� "Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do. "
�[� "Don't get yourself involved with persons or situations that can't bear inspection. "
�%� "You are standing on my toes. "
�@� "One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true. "
�2� "Waste not, get your budget cut next year. "
�K� "You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact. "
�9� "There is always someone worse off than yourself. "
�*� "Entropy isn't what it used to be. "
6� "Imagination is more important than knowledge. "
7� "Geometer turned general - a sphereless leader. "
Q� "Once you understand how to write a program get someone else to write it. "
$2� "Invest in physics - own a piece of Dirac. "
.5� "If you have nothing to do, don't do it here. "
8N� "You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks. "
B:� "Please follow more cautiously Life's Golden Rule. "
L*� "Vitamin C deficiency is apauling. "
V(� "Heisenburg may have slept here. "
`V� "Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword. "
jL� "Oh you never would believe where these little fortunes come from... "
t1� "Blame Saint Andreas - its all his fault. "
~T� "You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend. "
�`� "The only difference between an unclear war and a nuclear war is the way you use the UN. "
�T� "A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost. "
�^� "Men have many faults, Women only two.... Everything they say, And everything they do. "
�*� "You will be surrounded by luxury. "
�z� "The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. "
�/� "Pain is just God's way of hurting you. "
�4� "Things worth having are worth cheating for. "
�T� "You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally. "
�F� "Computers Unite! You have nothing to lose but your operators. "
�-� "11-PDP eht edisni deppart ma I !ple. "
�G� "Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday. "
�.� "Swap read error.  You lose your mind. "
D� "The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. "

B� "Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain. "
6� "You like participating in competitive sports. "
/� "You will be surprised by a loud noise. "
(J� "If all men were brothers.... would you let one marry your sister. "
2x� "I don't remember ever having had the itch, and yet scratching is one of nature's sweet pleasures, and so handy. "
<6� "Crime wouldn't pay, if the government ran it. "
F2� "You have an unusual magnetic personality. "
PR� "If this is timesharing, giE TO #5 AH0019 Basic Compiler Patches - #5 of . "
ZX� "Sex is like euchre; if you don't have a partner, you'd better have a good hand. "
d@� "The way to a man's heart is through the left ventricle. "
n.� "Lucky is he for whom the belle toils. "
x<� "Pride invites calamity; humility reaps its harvest. "
�"� "You have no real enemies. "
�� "Is it Friday yet. "
�A� "You will always have good luck in your personal affairs. "
�,� "It's better to copulate than never. "
�8� "There is no such thing as a 'Fail Safe' design. "
�>� "Never hit a man with glasses; hit him with your fist. "
�N� "He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT. "
�7� "Love the sea? I dote upon it - from the beach. "
�N� "You will enjoy the high praise of solving a problem of long standing. "
�@� "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. "
�9� "This fortune is inoperative. Please try another. "
�W� "Your long forgotten kindness to someone will bring a substantial sum of money. "
�� "Teachers have class. "
R� "You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant. "
*� "A man's best friend is his dogma. "
N� "Many are called, few are chosen.  Fewer still get to do the choosing. "
"+� "Many are cold, but few are frozen. "
,T� "You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause. "
6U� "Rubbing hair restorer into your scalp is a good way to insure hairy fingers. "
@T� "Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it. "
J0� "Without fools there would be no wisdom. "
T:� "The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers. "
^/� "An idle mind is worth two in the bush. "
h� "Satyrs have more faun. "
r� "You love peace. "
|3� "He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. "
�+� "Constants aren't; variables don't. "
�D� "God gives us relatives; thank God we can chose our friends. "
�&� "Astronauts are out to launch. "
�D� "Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. "
�R� "A member of your family will soon do something that will make your proud. "
�0� "Are movies about Vulcans Pathe-logical. "
�0� "You are heading for a land of sunshine. "
�=� "Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor. "
ւ� "Documentation is the castor oil of programming.... Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much. "
�,� "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. "
�(� "A closed mouth gathers no feet. "
�n� "Sooner or later you must pay for your sins. (Those who have already paid may disregard this fortune). "
�;� "Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth. "
@� "People will laugh at you, but let not that prevent you. "
$� "It's clever, but is it art. "
4� "Money cannot buy love, nor even friendship. "
&0� "Anal erotics are behind us all the way. "
00� "Old soldiers never die - young ones do. "
:M� "You will secure the greatest degree of happiness if you marry young. "
DD� "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal. "
N6� "Going the speed of light is bad for your age. "
XW� "Did you say your uncle kicked the bucket?... No, he just turned a little pail. "
b$� "Celibacy is NOT hereditary. "
lH� "Save Soviet Jews! Collect them or trade them with your friends. "
v7� "Hire the handicapped.... They're fun to watch. "
�4� "You will engage in a profitable friendship. "
�A� "There is many a good man to be found under a shabby hat. "
�1� "I claim that wasn't necessary.   (D. D.. "
�@� "His heart was yours from the first moment that you met. "
�)� "Flee at once, all is discovered. "
�)� "Schizophrenia beats being alone. "
�W� "If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on vacation. "
� � "Neil Armstrong tripped. "
�6� "This file will self-destruct in five minutes. "
�.� "Do married women make the best wives. "
�D� "Let us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and order. "
�+� "May all your hang-ups be drip-dry. "
�4� "Female programmers get their bits twiddled. "
S� "There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. "
G� "Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout. "
F� "Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you. "
 <� "Reputation: what others are not thinking about you. "
*<� "Try the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today. "
4;� "You will have many friends when you use corkscrew. "
>H� "Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth. "
H-� "Computer Engineers do it bit by bit. "
R1� "You are going to have a new love affair. "
\>� "You will probably marry after a very brief courtship. "
fE� "All things are possible except skiing thru a revolving door. "
pN� "When taxes are due, Americans tend to feel quite bled-white and blue. "
zB� "Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career. "
�&� "Lake Erie died for your sins. "
�B� "From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance. "
�<� "There's a seeker born every minute! - Jerry Falwel. "
�7� "You will soon take that long awaited vacation. "
�\� "My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there. "
�7� "On all lasergrams:  Don't forget the Zap code. "
�P� "It is easier to write an incorrect program than to understand a correc. "
�4� "Wisdom and good sense guard life from harm. "
�7� "Jesus Saves.... Johnson scores on the rebound. "
�2� "An elephant is a mouse built to Mil-spec. "
�K� "Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner. "
�W� "Any IC protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first. "
�;� "An adequate bootstrap is a contradiction in terms. "
W� "Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius. "
J� "Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion. "
>� "You will be given a post of trust and responsibility. "
$*� "Coed dorms promote campus unrest. "
.E� "An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it. "
8K� "New financial propositions may be offered at the turn of the year. "
B � "Poverty begins at home. "
L?� "Then there was the Formosan bartender named Taiwan-On. "
VZ� "The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. "
`!� "Reagan can't act either. "
j$� "Drilling for oil is boring. "
tq� "The concept seems to be clear by now.... It has been defined several times by example of what it is not. "
~s� "An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize the President - but is always polite to traffic cops. "
��� "The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity - the rest is overhead for the operating system. "
�B� "Mankind has an incestuous relationship with mother earth. "
�&� "Sentient plasmoids are a gas. "
�:� "You have a deep interest in all that is artistic. "
�B� "I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise. "
�H� "This is a GENUINE Fortune! Don't be fooled by cheap imitations. "
�F� "Gargling twice daily is a good way to see if your neck leaks. "
�!� "Don't read this fortune. "
�U� "It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious. "
�1� "You are capable of planning your future. "
�:� "Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest. "
�3� "To iterate is human, to recurse is divine. "
P� "For those of you who think life is a joke, just think of the punchline. "

� "You auto buy now. "
H� "He who is flogged by fate and laughs the louder is a masochist. "
B� "Everyone complains of his memory, no one of his judgment. "
(+� "Even a cabbage may look at a king. "
2D� "If one word does not succeed, ten thousand are of no avail. "
<=� "You will have good luck and overcome many hardships. "
F?� "Programming Department:  Mistakes made while you wait. "
P8� "You ain't learning nothing when you're talking. "
Z3� "If you wish, You will have an opportunity. "
dB� "Whatever you say about pornography, sex is here to stray. "
n+� "I BM.  You BM.  We all BM for IBM. "
x@� "Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. "
�h� "The bearing of a child takes nine months, no matter how many women are assigned to the project. "
�a� "God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent -- it says so right here on the label. "
�B� "Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust. "
�-� "You will be successful in your work. "
�;� "You will step on the night soil of many countries. "
�!� "Abolish first marriages. "
�`� "To do is to be. -- Nietzsche.... To be is to do. -- Kant.... Do be do be do. -- Sinatr. "
�B� "Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. "
�:� "Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. "
�k� "When you're up to your hips in alligators, you forget the original project was to drain the swamp. "
�A� "Chemistry professors never die, they just fail to react. "
�!� "Zeus gave Leda the bird. "
�� "You are always busy. "
<� "You can never get rid of a bad temper by losing it. "
#� "Save gas, don't eat beans. "
1� "COBOL programmers are down in the dumps. "
")� "Pray for the success of atheism. "
,N� "It is hard to fly with the eagles.... When you work with the turkeys. "
6=� "Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark. "
@7� "There are more old drunkards than old doctors. "
J2� "Nietzsche is pietzsche, Goethe is murder. "
Tf� "Why did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless it was to avoid responsibility. "
^W� "There are many people today who literally do not have a close personal friend. "
h� "Keep the X in Xmas. "
rV� "A year spent in Artificial Intelligence is enough to make one believe in God. "
|�� "The best book on programming for the layman is 'Alice in Wonderland'; but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman. "
�=� "The debate rages on: Is PL/I Bachtrian or Dromedary. "
�/� "The only dope worth shooting is Nixon. "
�C� "Epigrams are macros, since they are executed at read time. "
�U� "The value of knowledge lies not in its accumulation, but in its utilization. "
�U� "You will visit some faraway land that has long been in your waking thoughts. "
�� "The agony of delete. "
�'� "The plural of spouse is spice. "
�K� "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. "
�� "Individualists unite. "
�0� "Grass is nature's way of saying 'High!. "
�Q� "We prefer to speak evil of ourselves than not speak of ourselves at all. "
�>� "In a fight between you and the world, back the world. "
�T� "Make new friends but keep the old ones; One is silver and the other's gold. "
v� "What no spouse of a writer can ever understand, is that a writer is working when he's staring out the window. "
?� "Hasty schizophrenics do things in a lickity split way. "
>� "Seek companionship, love and social activity at home. "
&U� "Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years. "
0K� "No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it. "
:6� "Burroughs programmers have to pay a Poll tax. "
D_� "To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the competent. "
Ns� "THE PROGRAMMERS' CHEER? -- SHIFT TO THE LEFT, SHIFT TO THE RIGHT!.... POP UP, PUSH DOWN, BYTE, BYTE, BYTE. "
XR� "Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down. "
b$� "Honesty is next to poverty. "
l]� "The order and connection of ideas is the same as the order and connection of things. "
v*� "Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split. "
�4� "I must have slipped a disk - my pack hurts. "
�R� "A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing. "
�2� "Everything bows to success, even grammar. "
�3� "Your first impressions of people are best. "
�!� "Ignore previous fortune. "
�7� "The only race worth winning is the human race. "
�*� "Noam Chomsky is an anti-semantic. "
�/� "I hate rabbit jokes, they're so coney. "
�Q� "You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider. "
�N� "The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep. "
�o� "Old men are fond of giving good advice to console themselves for their inability to give bad examples. "
�G� "He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet. "
�8� "Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art. "
7� "Sado-necro-bestiality is beating a dead horse. "
L� "Would the last person to leave Michigan please turn out the lights. "
;� "Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed. "
 &� "Disk crisis, please clean up. "
*L� "To save a single life is better than to build a seven story pagoda. "
4;� "If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven. "
>X� "For people who like that kind of book, that is the kind of book they will like. "
HE� "Remember, the paper is always strongest at the perforations. "
RI� "Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all. "
\7� "Morfy's law - Enythink thit ken go rong willl. "
f=� "Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted. "
p^� "The actions of your mate or close allies will help you to make an important decision. "
z2� "Do not write on walls - use a typewriter. "
�J� "Raising pet electric eels is gaining a lot of current popularity. "
�0� "If you suspect a man, don't employ him. "
�:� "By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. "
�4� "A man who turns green has eschewed protein. "
�S� "Why did the Roman Empire collapse? What's the Latin for office automation. "
�;� "People will buy anything that's one to a customer. "
�� "Snow Day - stay home. "
�K� "All the world's a stage and the people on it are poorly rehearsed. "
�O� "Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life. "
�W� "You are fixed in your opinions and will not be easily moved from your purpose. "
�M� "Women's Libbers are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one. "
�)� "If we can't fix it - its broken. "
�d� "There are few people more often in the wrong than those who cannot endure to be thought so. "
2� "Gardeners are prone to sod-den decisions. "
�� "Even though one keeps his nose to the grindstone, it does not mean, that he is good for anything besides cutting bread with his nose. "
_� "The brave man is known only in war; the wise man in anger; the friend in time of need. "
$?� "Your help will be needed in an embarrassing situation. "
.,� "Chemists really know their bismuth. "
8<� "You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music. "
B6� "Pretend to spank me - I'm a pseudo-masochist. "
L2� "With a mind like yours, who needs a body. "
V/� "You enjoy the company of other people. "
`=� "To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa. "
jQ� "Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him. "
ta� "There are three things I have always loved and never understood - art, music, and women. "
~A� "He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke. "
�M� "You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy. "
�A� "The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. "
�>� "Simplicity and clarity should be your theme in dress. "
��� "There are two kinds of people in this world: Those that want to BE something, and those that want to DO something.... (There is less competition in the second category.. "
�O� "You have an unusual equipment for success. Be sure to use it properly. "
�<� "Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance. "
�<� "Teamwork is vital! (It gives you someone to blame.. "
�5� "We will release no software before its time. "
�C� "The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away. "
�U� "People who have never tried it have no idea how pleasant being nasty can be. "
�_� "While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery. "
�C� "It is often better not to see an insult than to avenge it. "
7� "All work and no play, will make you a manager. "

)� "In case of fire.... yell 'FIRE!. "
3� "Old frogs never die.... But they do croak. "
/� "A good memory does not equal pale ink. "
(P� "How many 'coming men' has one known!  Where on earth do they all go to. "
2V� "You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution. "
<� "Your Zip file is open. "
F=� "Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy. "
P7� "You are the center of every group's attention. "
ZT� "When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it. "
dZ� "Prolonged contact with computers turns mathematicians into clerks and vice versa. "
np� "Every interesting program has at least one variable, one branch, and one loop.... And at least one bug. "
x3� "Graffiti has changed deface of the nation. "
�5� "It is easier to run down a hill than up one. "
�r� "What makes us so bitter against people who outwit us, is that they think themselves cleverer than we are. "
�@� "You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. "
�2� "Three can keep a secret, if two are dead. "
�F� "With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best. "
�G� "Valuable insights and your persuasive ability achieve results. "
�O� "As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of demand. "
�;� "You will engage in a profitable business activity. "
�4� "You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed. "
�'� "You are witty and fond of fun. "
�>� "A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn. "
�� "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself anytime. "
�4� "Your are the guiding star of his existence. "
L� "Take advantage of the pleasurable opportunities that come your way. "
F� "In seeking the unattainable, simplicity only gets in the way. "
8� "True happiness will be found only in true love. "
";� "What orators lack in depth they make up in length. "
,L� "Preventing baldness is simple. Just knot your hair from the inside. "
65� "A vivid and creative mind characterizes you. "
@5� "Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie. "
JU� "We are on the verge: Today our program proved Fermat's next-to-last theorem. "
T;� "Eat prune yogurt for that 'get up and go' feeling. "
^G� "Better to use medicines at the outset than at the last moment. "
hD� "System going down at 1:45 this afternoon for disk crashing. "
rY� "He that will not command his thoughts will soon lose the command of his actions. "
|*� "Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic. "
�/� "Give - help send a girl to Boy's Town. "
�^� "On the wall of the women's restroom on the Enterprise: 'Where no man has gone before. "
�%� "Take an astronaut to launch. "
�L� "Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in at the door. "
�?� "Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded. "
�)� "Poverty is the root of all evil. "
�R� "Old doughnut makers never die, they just get tired of the whole business. "
�T� "You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own. "
�"� "He who hesitates is last. "
�7� "How many priests are needed for a Boston Mass. "
�<� "You will win success in whatever calling you adopt. "
�!� "Winter is I-commin back. "
�1� "Archaeologists take sedimental journeys. "
 ,� "Sigmund's wife wore Freudian slips. "
 C� "Orcs really aren't so bad.... (if you use lots of catsup). "
  � "Gravity brings me down. "
 &:� "A friend asks only for your time, not your money. "
 0>� "GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error. "
 :@� "An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support. "
 DD� "An engineer is someone who does list processing in Fortran. "
 N0� "Indecision is the basis of flexibility. "
 XJ� "The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again. "
 b � "God does not play dice. "
 lG� "It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead. "
 vG� "Whom computers would destroy.... they must first drive insane. "
 �.� "The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. "
 �7� "Some people carve careers, others chisel them. "
 �'� "Common sense is very uncommon. "
 �5� "Xerox never comes up with anything original. "
 �E� "Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement. "
 �]� "Remember, the fact that you're paranoid.... doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you. "
 �2� "Let him who is stoned cast the first sin. "
 �7� "All that glitters has a high refractive index. "
 �.� "COLE's LAW  -  Thinly sliced cabbage. "
 �'� "Neutrinos are into physicists. "
 �J� "A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. "
 �E� "Remember, even if you win the rat race - you're still a rat. "
 �]� "People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them. "
!&� "Raise ducks for quack profit. "
!C� "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. "
!W� "If God had intended man to have computers, he would have given him 16 fingers. "
! N� "He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with two eyes. "
!*Y� "We do not recommend the use of 'roman numerals' in western electric information. "
!48� "When you go out to buy, don't show your silver. "
!>P� "To keep your friends treat them kindly; to kill them, treat them often. "
!HZ� "Only someone with nothing to be sorry for smiles back at the rear of an elephant. "
!R,� "Small programs are for small minds. "
!\D� "If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. "
!fh� "Those who can, do; those who can't, write. Those who can't write work for the Bell Labs Record. "
!p$� "Astronauts get missile-toe. "
!z � "Alex Haley was adopted. "
!�.� "Prunes give you a run for your money. "
!�6� "Your next acquaintance will be the right one. "
!�<� "Help! I'm being held prisoner in a fortune factory. "
!�>� "Save our virgin forests - buy a tree a chastity belt. "
!�0� "Part-time musicians are semiconductors. "
!�:� "A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs. "
!�3� "The universe is laughing behind your back. "
!�:� "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity. "
!�:� "Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you. "
!�+� "Sacred cows make great hamburgers. "
!�-� "Do unto others before they undo you. "
!�9� "You are next in line for promotion in your firm. "
!�/� "Women should be obscene and not heard. "
"$� "What fools these morals be. "
"<� "You will be singled out for promotion in your work. "
"G� "You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself. "
"$� "My computer puts out. "
".+� "You have the attitude of a winner. "
"8P� "Youth had been a habit of hers so long that she could not part with it. "
"B9� "Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you. "
"L4� "A gift of flowers will soon be made to you. "
"V@� "186,000 mps: It's not just a good idea -- It's the law. "
"`L� "We don't really understand it, so we'll give it to the programmers. "
"jI� "Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. "
"t$� "Neutrinos have bad breadth. "
"~J� "Please keep your hands off the secretary's reproducing equipment. "
"�4� "Sorry - the Fortune Monster got here first. "
"�3� "Courage is fear that has said its prayers. "
"�^� "Lonely men seek companionship. Lonely women sit at home and wait.... They never meet. "
"�`� "If God had been in favor of homosexuality.... He never would have created Anita Bryant. "
"�2� "To refuse praise is to seek praise twice. "
"�E� "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear. "
"�E� "Every program is part of some other program and rarely fits. "
"�<� "To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools. "
"�O� "Lawrence Radiation Laboratory keeps all its data in an old gray trunk. "
"�O� "You will always be successful in your business or professional career. "
"�5� "You have been selected for a secret mission. "
"�*� "You are magnetic in your bearing. "
#;� "Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable. "
#
n� "The hardest thing is to disguise your feelings when you put a lot of relatives on the train for home. "
#E� "Chicken feed is what most of our nest eggs have turned into. "
#D� "It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost. "
#(5� "Do not underestimate the power of the Force. "
#21� "Your lover will never wish to leave you. "
#<5� "You scratch my tape, and I'll scratch yours. "
#FC� "No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck. "
#PM� "It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten. "
#Zo� "If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. "
#d?� "Is a computer language with goto's totally Wirth-less. "
#n,� "Polymer physicists are into chains. "
#x"� "Mother Earth is not flat. "
#�G� "If your computer speaks English it was probably made in Japan. "
#�'� "Economy makes men independent. "
#�*� "Go Hawaiian: Give your gal a lei. "
#�Y� "What passes for woman's intuition is often nothing more than man's transparency. "
#�C� "You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances. "
#�_� "I never fail to convince an audience that the best thing they could do was to go away. "
#�� "Laetrile is the pits. "
#�X� "You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity. "
#�,� "You have a yearning for perfection. "
#�M� "Contact with a friend may provide some unexpected income advantages. "
#�0� "Is a Jamaican terminal a raster-farian. "
#�/� "The time is right to make new friends. "
#�A� "He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap. "
$P� "It is better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall. "
$7� "Zen Druids practice Transcendental Vegetation. "
$'� "Recursive, adj.; see Recursiv. "
$"D� "After all is said and done, usually more is said than done. "
$,� "Stamp out philately. "
$6?� "Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you. "
$@3� "Someone is unenthusiastic about your work. "
$J$� "Microwaves frizz your heir. "
$T � "Physicists get hadrons. "
$^L� "Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world. "
$h=� "The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.. "
$r)� "A bird in the hand can be messy. "
$|.� "You will be awarded some great honor. "
$�*� "We read to say that we have read. "
$�7� "Beauty seldom recommends one woman to another. "
$�H� "Support striking Air Traffic Controllers.... And ugly ones too. "
$�&� "Microbiology Lab: Staph Only. "
$�?� "Stop day dreaming about success. Go out and obtain it. "
$�-� "You are fairminded, just and loving. "
$�0� "Put your trust in those who are worthy. "
$�=� "In GOD we trust - all others require a phase review. "
$�/� "This fortune intentionally left empty. "
$�y� "If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think they'll hate you. "
$�'� "Lawyers do it in their briefs. "
$�2� "He who laughs last is probably your boss. "
$�-� "This fortune back by popular demand. "
%P� "Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference. "
%?� "He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals. "
%;� "Those who are prospering do not argue about taxes. "
%&C� "The perfect secretary is one who types fast and runs slow. "
%0>� "You will inherit some money or a small piece of land. "
%:7� "In jealousy there is more self-love than love. "
%DF� "Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level. "
%N=� "Without health you cannot enjoy wealth or happiness. "
%X%� "A man's house is his hassle. "
%b;� "Support National Motherhood Week - Make one today. "
%l8� "You will marry your present lover and be happy. "
%v=� "People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues. "
%�0� "Streakers repent! Your end is in sight. "
%�S� "As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote. "
%� � "Hard where? Soft where. "
%�R� "You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first. "
%��� "Found on a door in the MSU music building: This door is baroquen, please wiggle Handel. (If I wiggle Handel, will it wiggle Bach?. "
%�A� "Your computer account is overdrawn.  Please reauthorize. "
%�0� "You must be patient for a little while. "
%�j� "The computer is the ultimate polluter: its feces are indistinguishable from the food it produces. "
%�N� "Think twice before speaking. But don't say 'think think click click'. "
%�D� "Everything should be built top-down, except the first time. "
%�C� "Call out the vice squad!  Someone's mounting a disk drive. "
%�4� "You have many friends and very few enemies. "
%�0� "The star of riches is shining upon you. "
&5� "Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. "
&2� "Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall. "
&I� "To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it. "
& =� "Acid consumes 47 times its weight in excess reality. "
&*5� "Old Grandad is dead but his spirits live on. "
&4� "All's well that ends. "
&>S� "All I ask for is an opportunity to prove that money doesn't buy happiness. "
&HH� "You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop. "
&RG� "You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend. "
&\4� "It's hard to be humble when you're perfect. "
&f>� "Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy. "
&pE� "Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth. "
&z=� "You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble. "
&�*� "Idleness is the holiday of fools. "
&�&� "The early worm gets the bird. "
&�F� "Computer actors will never be great; they only get bit parts. "
&�Q� "You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationship. "
&�b� "Charlie was a chemist, but Charlie is no more.... What Charlie thought was H2O was H2SO4. "
&�&� "Every purchase has its price. "
&�a� "Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid; Open it and you remove all doubt. "
&�T� "Be a better psychiatrist and the world will beat a psychopath to your door. "
&�2� "Man's horizons are bounded by his vision. "
&�"� "Condense soup, not books. "
&�-� "Draw your salary before spending it. "
&�K� "All requests for sick leave must be approved two weeks in advance. "
&�H� "The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn't. "
'=� "In which level of metalanguage are you now speaking. "
'9� "He who uses bad language is an ignorant schmuck. "
'� "Serfs up - Spartacus. "
'$>� "He keeps differentiating.... flying off on a tangent. "
'..� "Your domestic life may be harmonious. "
'8+� "Your karma just ran over my dogma. "
'B-� "Battle Creek makes cereal terminals. "
'LN� "Computer programmers never die, they just get lost in the processing. "
'V`� "Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca. "
'`&� "Confucious say too damn much. "
'j(� "Mrs. Ghandi is in a sari state. "
't-� "Even a hawk is an eagle among crows. "
'~&� "Clark Kent is a transvestite. "
'�6� "Old musicians never die, they just decompose. "
'�*� "There's no future in time travel. "
'�9� "Your aims are high, and you are capable of much. "
'�U� "Do not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses. "
'�,� "Preserve the old, but know the new. "
'�D� "Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. "
'�S� "A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds. "
'�1� "Among the lucky, you are the chosen one. "
'�9� "You will gain money by a speculation or lottery. "
'�3� "'SEX' is nothing but 'LOVE' misunderstood. "
'�P� "The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. "
'�/� "You have a truly strong individuality. "
(E� "You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances. "
(
7� "Worth seeing? Yes, but not worth going to see. "
(T� "Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. "
(H� "Boy Hippie: a guy who looks like a Jill and smells like a john. "
((7� "Nudists are people who wear one-button shirts. "
(2D� "The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive. "
(<[� "The rich get rich, and the poor get poorer. The haves get more, the have-nots die. "
(F/� "Courage is your greatest present need. "
(P� "Win or lose, you lose. "
(Z*� "Paranoia is heightened awareness. "
(d)� "Psychiatrists stay on your mind. "
(n�� "Any government that's strong enough to give the people everything they want, is a government that's strong enough to take it away. "
(xN� "You will always get what you want through your charm and personality. "
(�3� "It is better to wear out than to rust out. "
(�&� "May all your PUSHes be POPed. "
(�2� "You are broad minded and socially active. "
(�8� "Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce. "
(�5� "You are a bundle of energy always on the go. "
(�D� "The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf. "
(�N� "Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways. "
(�$� "Anarchy is against the law. "
(�0� "Klein bottle for rent - inquire within. "
(�8� "Executive ability is prominent in your make-up. "
(�*� "You will triumph over your enemy. "
(�A� "There will be big changes for you but you will be happy. "
(�1� "A fool and your money are soon partners. "
)4� "You will feel hungry again in another hour. "
)� "Disks travel in packs. "
)�� "An abstract term is like a valise with a false bottom, you may put in it what ideas you please, and take them out again, without being observed. "
)">� "Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals. "
),@� "To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved. "
)64� "The time is right to pursue your endeavors. "
)@<� "Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you. "
)J$� "You will never know hunger. "
)T,� "Never play leapfrog with a unicorn. "
)^Q� "If you are what you eat, does that mean Euelle Gibbons really was a nut. "
)h-� "Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. "
)r,� "Words must be weighed, not counted. "
)|K� "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance from Sam. "
)�4� "Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over. "
)�"� "Programmers get overlaid. "
)�-� "A car raising contest is a jack off. "
)�1� "War is good business - invest your sons. "
)�1� "You are clever, alert, and intellectual. "
)�_� "In case of injury notify your superior immediately - He'll kiss it and make it better. "
)�4� "The best prophet of the future is the past. "
�

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00002530  6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 73  65 6d 69 2d 63 6f 6c 6f  |of the semi-colo|
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000025e0  07 b2 3b dc 20 22 4d 65  6e 20 73 65 6c 64 6f 6d  |..;. "Men seldom|
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00002620  22 59 6f 75 20 77 69 6c  6c 20 73 74 65 70 20 6f  |"You will step o|
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00002870  2f dc 20 22 4c 53 44 20  6d 65 6c 74 73 20 79 6f  |/. "LSD melts yo|
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00002930  0d 08 3e 58 dc 20 22 57  68 65 6e 20 47 6f 64 20  |..>X. "When God |
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000029f0  20 22 59 6f 75 20 6e 6f  77 20 68 61 76 65 20 41  | "You now have A|
00002a00  73 69 61 6e 20 46 6c 75  2e 20 22 0d 08 66 53 dc  |sian Flu. "..fS.|
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00002a60  70 5f dc 20 22 49 64 65  61 73 20 64 6f 6e 27 74  |p_. "Ideas don't|
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00002af0  22 54 65 6e 6e 69 73 20  70 6c 61 79 65 72 73 20  |"Tennis players |
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00002d70  74 68 2e 20 22 0d 08 fc  47 dc 20 22 42 75 73 69  |th. "...G. "Busi|
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00002dc0  dc 20 22 53 74 72 75 63  74 75 72 65 64 20 50 72  |. "Structured Pr|
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00002e40  09 1a 4b dc 20 22 49 20  6c 69 6b 65 20 77 6f 72  |..K. "I like wor|
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00002ec0  4e dc 20 22 59 6f 75 20  61 72 65 20 66 61 69 74  |N. "You are fait|
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00002fd0  0d 09 60 5d dc 20 22 49  66 20 79 6f 75 20 61 6c  |..`]. "If you al|
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000050c0  0d 0e 9c 2b dc 20 22 4d  61 6b 65 20 74 68 69 73  |...+. "Make this|
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00005110  0d 0e b0 6a dc 20 22 4f  66 74 65 6e 20 73 74 61  |...j. "Often sta|
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000051b0  6e 67 6f 2e 20 22 0d 0e  c4 3a dc 20 22 49 74 20  |ngo. "...:. "It |
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000051f0  0d 0e ce 4c dc 20 22 57  68 65 6e 65 76 65 72 20  |...L. "Whenever |
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00005240  dc 20 22 49 6d 6d 61 6e  75 65 6c 20 4b 61 6e 74  |. "Immanuel Kant|
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00005260  20 22 0d 0e e2 23 dc 20  22 42 75 67 73 20 61 72  | "...#. "Bugs ar|
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00005290  6c 6c 20 74 68 65 20 67  69 72 6c 73 20 61 74 20  |ll the girls at |
000052a0  56 61 73 73 61 72 20 77  65 72 65 20 6c 61 69 64  |Vassar were laid|
000052b0  20 65 6e 64 20 74 6f 20  65 6e 64 2e 2e 2e 2e 20  | end to end.... |
000052c0  49 20 77 6f 75 6c 64 6e  27 74 20 62 65 20 73 75  |I wouldn't be su|
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00005300  20 22 48 69 72 65 20 74  68 65 20 6d 6f 72 61 6c  | "Hire the moral|
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000053e0  0d 0f 28 3e dc 20 22 53  6d 69 6c 65 21 20 49 74  |..(>. "Smile! It|
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00005420  32 1c dc 20 22 46 72 69  63 74 69 6f 6e 20 69 73  |2.. "Friction is|
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00005510  79 73 20 77 68 65 6e 20  73 65 78 20 77 61 73 20  |ys when sex was |
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00005530  72 20 77 61 73 20 63 6c  65 61 6e 2e 20 22 0d 0f  |r was clean. "..|
00005540  5a 2a dc 20 22 50 65 74  65 72 73 20 68 75 6e 67  |Z*. "Peters hung|
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000055b0  6e 42 dc 20 22 4d 69 64  64 6c 65 20 41 67 65 3a  |nB. "Middle Age:|
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000055f0  0d 0f 78 3c dc 20 22 4d  6f 6e 65 79 20 69 73 20  |..x<. "Money is |
00005600  74 68 65 20 72 6f 6f 74  20 6f 66 20 61 6c 6c 20  |the root of all |
00005610  65 76 69 6c 2c 20 61 6e  64 20 6d 61 6e 20 6e 65  |evil, and man ne|
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00005630  dc 20 22 4d 69 73 73 74  65 72 2c 20 64 6f 20 79  |. "Misster, do y|
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00005690  22 0d 0f 96 5e dc 20 22  54 68 65 20 72 65 61 73  |"...^. "The reas|
000056a0  6f 6e 20 74 68 65 20 67  6f 76 65 72 6e 6d 65 6e  |on the governmen|
000056b0  74 20 74 68 69 6e 6b 73  20 79 6f 75 27 72 65 20  |t thinks you're |
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000056e0  73 74 20 61 20 6d 61 63  68 69 6e 65 2e 20 22 0d  |st a machine. ".|
000056f0  0f a0 3d dc 20 22 49 20  66 65 61 72 20 65 78 70  |..=. "I fear exp|
00005700  6c 61 6e 61 74 69 6f 6e  73 20 65 78 70 6c 61 6e  |lanations explan|
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00005750  69 6e 67 20 74 68 6f 72  6f 75 67 68 6c 79 20 75  |ing thoroughly u|
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000057c0  22 59 6f 75 20 6c 6f 76  65 20 79 6f 75 72 20 68  |"You love your h|
000057d0  6f 6d 65 20 61 6e 64 20  77 61 6e 74 20 69 74 20  |ome and want it |
000057e0  74 6f 20 62 65 20 62 65  61 75 74 69 66 75 6c 2e  |to be beautiful.|
000057f0  20 22 0d 0f c8 3b dc 20  22 49 66 20 79 6f 75 20  | "...;. "If you |
00005800  63 6f 6e 74 69 6e 75 61  6c 6c 79 20 67 69 76 65  |continually give|
00005810  20 79 6f 75 20 77 69 6c  6c 20 63 6f 6e 74 69 6e  | you will contin|
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00005830  73 dc 20 22 50 75 62 6c  69 73 68 69 6e 67 20 61  |s. "Publishing a|
00005840  20 76 6f 6c 75 6d 65 20  6f 66 20 76 65 72 73 65  | volume of verse|
00005850  20 69 73 20 6c 69 6b 65  20 64 72 6f 70 70 69 6e  | is like droppin|
00005860  67 20 61 20 72 6f 73 65  20 70 65 74 61 6c 20 64  |g a rose petal d|
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00005880  6e 79 6f 6e 20 61 6e 64  20 77 61 69 74 69 6e 67  |nyon and waiting|
00005890  20 66 6f 72 20 74 68 65  20 65 63 68 6f 2e 20 22  | for the echo. "|
000058a0  0d 0f dc 3a dc 20 22 49  66 20 79 6f 75 20 6b 6e  |...:. "If you kn|
000058b0  65 77 20 77 68 61 74 20  4d 6f 6e 61 20 4c 69 73  |ew what Mona Lis|
000058c0  61 20 6b 6e 65 77 2c 20  79 6f 75 27 64 20 73 6d  |a knew, you'd sm|
000058d0  69 6c 65 20 74 6f 6f 2e  20 22 0d 0f e6 32 dc 20  |ile too. "...2. |
000058e0  22 49 74 27 73 20 61 20  70 6f 6f 72 20 77 6f 72  |"It's a poor wor|
000058f0  6b 6d 61 6e 20 77 68 6f  20 62 6c 61 6d 65 73 20  |kman who blames |
00005900  68 69 73 20 74 6f 6f 6c  73 2e 20 22 0d 0f f0 3b  |his tools. "...;|
00005910  dc 20 22 48 75 73 68 21  20 48 75 73 68 21 20 53  |. "Hush! Hush! S|
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00005950  65 6e 20 69 6e 20 64 6f  75 62 74 2c 20 6c 65 61  |en in doubt, lea|
00005960  64 20 74 72 75 6d 70 2e  20 22 0d 10 04 45 dc 20  |d trump. "...E. |
00005970  22 4e 6f 20 6f 6e 65 20  63 61 6e 20 66 65 65 6c  |"No one can feel|
00005980  20 61 73 20 68 65 6c 70  6c 65 73 73 20 61 73 20  | as helpless as |
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000059a0  69 63 6b 20 67 6f 6c 64  66 69 73 68 2e 20 22 0d  |ick goldfish. ".|
000059b0  10 0e 5f dc 20 22 41 20  77 69 73 65 20 6d 61 6e  |.._. "A wise man|
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00005a00  6d 20 6f 66 20 61 20 77  65 6c 6c 2e 20 22 0d 10  |m of a well. "..|
00005a10  18 43 dc 20 22 54 68 65  72 65 27 73 20 73 6f 20  |.C. "There's so |
00005a20  6d 75 63 68 20 74 6f 20  73 61 79 20 62 75 74 20  |much to say but |
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00005a40  6e 74 65 72 72 75 70 74  69 6e 67 20 6d 65 2e 20  |nterrupting me. |
00005a50  22 0d 10 22 3a dc 20 22  46 6f 72 74 75 6e 65 20  |"..":. "Fortune |
00005a60  73 61 79 73 3a 20 44 6f  6e 27 74 20 6c 6f 6f 6b  |says: Don't look|
00005a70  20 62 61 63 6b 2c 20 61  6c 77 61 79 73 20 6c 6f  | back, always lo|
00005a80  6f 6b 20 61 68 65 61 64  2e 20 22 0d 10 2c 35 dc  |ok ahead. "..,5.|
00005a90  20 22 44 6f 20 69 74 20  74 6f 64 61 79 2e 2e 2e  | "Do it today...|
00005aa0  2e 20 54 6f 6d 6f 72 72  6f 77 20 69 74 20 77 69  |. Tomorrow it wi|
00005ab0  6c 6c 20 62 65 20 69 6c  6c 65 67 61 6c 2e 20 22  |ll be illegal. "|
00005ac0  0d 10 36 32 dc 20 22 53  44 52 41 57 4b 43 41 42  |..62. "SDRAWKCAB|
00005ad0  20 73 70 65 6c 6c 65 64  20 62 61 63 6b 77 61 72  | spelled backwar|
00005ae0  64 73 20 69 73 20 62 61  63 6b 77 61 72 64 73 2e  |ds is backwards.|
00005af0  20 22 0d 10 40 48 dc 20  22 4d 65 65 6b 6e 65 73  | "..@H. "Meeknes|
00005b00  73 20 69 73 20 75 6e 63  6f 6d 6d 6f 6e 20 70 61  |s is uncommon pa|
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00005b40  22 53 6d 69 6c 65 21 20  54 68 69 6e 67 73 20 63  |"Smile! Things c|
00005b50  61 6e 20 6f 6e 6c 79 20  67 65 74 20 77 6f 72 73  |an only get wors|
00005b60  65 2e 20 22 0d 10 54 43  dc 20 22 59 6f 75 20 77  |e. "..TC. "You w|
00005b70  69 6c 6c 20 72 65 63 65  69 76 65 20 61 20 6c 65  |ill receive a le|
00005b80  67 61 63 79 20 77 68 69  63 68 20 77 69 6c 6c 20  |gacy which will |
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00005ba0  77 61 6e 74 2e 20 22 0d  10 5e 2e dc 20 22 49 66  |want. "..^.. "If|
00005bb0  20 79 6f 75 20 73 65 65  20 61 6e 20 6f 6e 69 6f  | you see an onio|
00005bc0  6e 20 72 69 6e 67 20 2d  20 61 6e 73 77 65 72 20  |n ring - answer |
00005bd0  69 74 2e 20 22 0d 10 68  4e dc 20 22 44 61 69 73  |it. "..hN. "Dais|
00005be0  69 65 73 20 6f 66 20 74  68 65 20 77 6f 72 6c 64  |ies of the world|
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0000f9d0  6e 20 63 61 73 65 20 6f  66 20 69 6e 6a 75 72 79  |n case of injury|
0000f9e0  20 6e 6f 74 69 66 79 20  79 6f 75 72 20 73 75 70  | notify your sup|
0000f9f0  65 72 69 6f 72 20 69 6d  6d 65 64 69 61 74 65 6c  |erior immediatel|
0000fa00  79 20 2d 20 48 65 27 6c  6c 20 6b 69 73 73 20 69  |y - He'll kiss i|
0000fa10  74 20 61 6e 64 20 6d 61  6b 65 20 69 74 20 62 65  |t and make it be|
0000fa20  74 74 65 72 2e 20 22 0d  29 c2 34 dc 20 22 54 68  |tter. ".).4. "Th|
0000fa30  65 20 62 65 73 74 20 70  72 6f 70 68 65 74 20 6f  |e best prophet o|
0000fa40  66 20 74 68 65 20 66 75  74 75 72 65 20 69 73 20  |f the future is |
0000fa50  74 68 65 20 70 61 73 74  2e 20 22 0d ff           |the past. "..|
0000fa5d