Home » Archimedes archive » Acorn Computing » 1994 06 subscription disc.adf » 9406s » PD/3D_Demo/!HoloDemo/ScrText
PD/3D_Demo/!HoloDemo/ScrText
This website contains an archive of files for the Acorn Electron, BBC Micro, Acorn Archimedes, Commodore 16 and Commodore 64 computers, which Dominic Ford has rescued from his private collection of floppy disks and cassettes.
Some of these files were originally commercial releases in the 1980s and 1990s, but they are now widely available online. I assume that copyright over them is no longer being asserted. If you own the copyright and would like files to be removed, please contact me.
| Tape/disk: | Home » Archimedes archive » Acorn Computing » 1994 06 subscription disc.adf » 9406s |
| Filename: | PD/3D_Demo/!HoloDemo/ScrText |
| Read OK: | ✔ |
| File size: | 13E6 bytes |
| Load address: | 0000 |
| Exec address: | 0000 |
File contents
GOODBYE OH, SORRY, THIS IS THE START! SOMETHING WONDERFUL HAS HAPPENED... WE'VE STOLEN LOTS OF CLICHES FROM OTHER DEMOS! WE'RE PROBABLY GOING TO REGRET IT - MAYBE NOT TODAY, MAYBE NOT TOMORROW, BUT SOON, AND FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES. BUT DIDN'T OSCAR WILDE SAY "IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY"?. OK THEN, HELLO AND WELCOME TO MANY MINUTES OF TRYING TO WATCH AN ANNOYING LINE OF TEXT WANDER AIMLESSLY AROUND THE SCREEN. LET'S START OFF WITH THE CREDITS LIST (ONE WAY TO GET YOU BORED) ... THANKS TO ME (PAUL MASON) AND ME (VINCENT SANDERS) FOR CREATING THIS DEMO WHICH MAKES LIFE WORTH LIVING. THANKS ALSO HAVE TO GO TO THE CHAP WHO CAME UP WITH THE IDEA OF 3D GLASSES (IF YOU'RE NOT WATCHING THIS WITH RED/BLUE ONES, IT'LL LOOK A LITTLE SAD, TO SAY THE LEAST). THANKS ALSO GO TO OUR PARENTS WHO PROVIDED OUR COMPUTERS AND EVERYTHING ELSE. HELLO TO ALL THOSE GCSE MODERATORS OUT THERE, YOU WONDERFUL, KIND, GENEROUS, GOD-LIKE PEOPLE. (WE'RE WAITING FOR OUR GRADES!). THANKS ALSO TO ACORN FOR DOING LOTS OF COMPLICATED THINGS, AND ALSO TO COIN-AGE FOR BEING A WONDERFUL SOFTWARE COMPANY (BUY ALL THEIR GAMES). HELLO TO ALL THOSE OTHER PD AUTHORS OUT THERE, BET YOU CAN'T COME UP WITH ANYTHING AS NOVEL AS THIS!!! (BIA IN PARTICULAR!). THANKS ALSO TO THE MAGS (THE MICRO USER ESPECIALLY) FOR STARTING US OFF ON OUR (CAREERS!?). CHEERS ALSO TO WHOEVER WROTE THIS SONG, AND WHOEVER WROTE COCONIZER. TA MUCH TO ANYBODY WE FORGOT. . A NOTE TO ALL YOU POTENTIAL HACKERS OUT THERE : HA! HA! THIS ENTIRE DEMO IS CODED/CRC CHECKED - TRY AND CHANGE IT IF YOU DARE (NOT A VERY SUBSTANTIAL THREAT!) MESSAGE TO ANDREW : IF YOU FINALLY GET THE HANG OF ARM CODE, TRY AND BEAT THIS! IF YOU HADN'T GUESSED, WE'RE RATHER CHUFFED WITH THIS DEMO, AND ANY DONATIONS CAN BE SENT TO THE ADDRESS GIVEN AT THE END. NOW FOR SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE INTERESTING - A FEW PONDERERS WE HAVE DISCOVERED DURING OUR 16 YEARS ON THIS PLANET * THE PRICE OF A RESTAURANT IS INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL TO THE AMOUNT OF FOOD YOU ACTUALLY GET AND THE SPEED OF SERVICE * THE EFFORT NEEDED TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO AMOUNT OF BEERS YOU HAD THE NIGHT BEFORE (NOT THAT WE WOULD KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT, THOUGH!) * GCSE COURSEWORK GRADES ARE INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL TO THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU SPEND DOING THEM * THE AMOUNT OF MISTAKES MADE DURING TYPING IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO THE URGENCY FOR COMPLETION * THE USEFULNESS OF ANY PART OF ACORN'S PRM IS INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL TO THE AMOUNT OF SPACE THEY ALLOCATE TO IT * THE NUMBER OF WITTY? COMMENTS SUCH AS THESE IS INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL TO THE INTELLIGENCE OF THE AUTHOR * THE INTEREST YOU ARE SHOWING IN THESE IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO NIL BECAUSE OF THE LAST TWO COMMENTS, WE'VE DECIDED TO STOP THIS HERE. PS, WHILE WRITING THIS SCROLLY IN EDIT SOME STRANGE THINGS SEEM TO BE HAPPENING - LINES GO MISSING AND YOU END UP WITH VERY LITTLE RIGHT (A BIT LIKE GCSE COURSEWORK ONCE YOU'VE HANDED THEM IN). IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY READING THIS SCROLLY, YOU MUST BE EXTREMELY BORED WITH THE SHAPES, OR CAN'T SEE THE 3D EFFECT. THIS CAN BE CAUSED BY ONE OF TWO THINGS : 1) YOU ARE COLOUR BLIND 2) YOU HAVE YOUR MONITOR/TV SET UP TO SUIT THE COLOUR SCHEME OF A CHAMELEON ON HEAT. HOW ABOUT SOME THOUGHTS ON LIFE : "LIFE IS RATHER LIKE A TIN OF SARDINES: WE'RE ALL OF US LOOKING FOR THE KEY", OR EVEN "LIFE IS AN INCURABLE DISEASE", MAYBE EVEN "LIFE IS JUST ONE DAMNED THING AFTER ANOTHER" (A BIT LIKE THIS SCROLL TEXT). AMBROSE BIERCE WAS ONCE QUOTED AS SAYING "DIAGNOSIS IS THE PHYSICIAN'S ART OF DETERMINING THE CONDITION OF THE PATIENT'S PURSE IN ORDER TO FIND OUT HOW SICK TO MAKE THEM". BUT ENOUGH OF UNFAMOUS PEOPLE'S QUOTES, LET'S GET ON WITH SOME MORE CLICHED SCROLLY ... HELLO TO ALL THE PEOPLE WE DON'T KNOW OUT THERE, JUST A SECOND - IS ANYBODY STILL THERE? ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? HAVEN'T YOU ANY HOMES TO GO TO? WELL GO. BYE GOD, YOU MUST BE DETERMINED! GO AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE. STILL HERE! *#!@ OFF NOW LISTEN, IF YOU DON'T GO AWAY, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO WRITE SOME MORE OF THIS SCROLL TEXT. ENGLISH BOOKS ARE USELESS. NO CLICHES IN THEM. ENGLISH IS USELESS - LOTS OF CLICHES, JUST WE CAN'T THINK OF THEM. ARE YOU STILL READING THIS! YOU MUST HAVE ONE BORING LIFE. EITHER THAT OR YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK. WELL, WE'RE NOT SO BORING, SO WE'RE GOING. IT IS GOODBYE THIS TIME. FINISHED FOR GOOD NOW - YOU'VE JUST READ OVER 800 WORDS OF THE MOST BORING SCROLLY EVER. THAT'S A WRAP.
00000000 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 47 4f 4f 44 42 59 | GOODBY| 00000010 45 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 4f 48 2c |E OH,| 00000020 20 53 4f 52 52 59 2c 20 54 48 49 53 20 49 53 20 | SORRY, THIS IS | 00000030 54 48 45 20 53 54 41 52 54 21 20 53 4f 4d 45 54 |THE START! SOMET| 00000040 48 49 4e 47 20 57 4f 4e 44 45 52 46 55 4c 20 48 |HING WONDERFUL H| 00000050 41 53 20 48 41 50 50 45 4e 45 44 2e 2e 2e 20 20 |AS HAPPENED... | 00000060 20 20 20 20 20 20 57 45 27 56 45 20 53 54 4f 4c | WE'VE STOL| 00000070 45 4e 20 4c 4f 54 53 20 4f 46 20 43 4c 49 43 48 |EN LOTS OF CLICH| 00000080 45 53 20 46 52 4f 4d 20 4f 54 48 45 52 20 44 45 |ES FROM OTHER DE| 00000090 4d 4f 53 21 20 57 45 27 52 45 20 50 52 4f 42 41 |MOS! WE'RE PROBA| 000000a0 42 4c 59 20 47 4f 49 4e 47 20 54 4f 20 52 45 47 |BLY GOING TO REG| 000000b0 52 45 54 20 49 54 20 2d 20 4d 41 59 42 45 20 4e |RET IT - MAYBE N| 000000c0 4f 54 20 54 4f 44 41 59 2c 20 4d 41 59 42 45 20 |OT TODAY, MAYBE | 000000d0 4e 4f 54 20 54 4f 4d 4f 52 52 4f 57 2c 20 42 55 |NOT TOMORROW, BU| 000000e0 54 20 53 4f 4f 4e 2c 20 41 4e 44 20 46 4f 52 20 |T SOON, AND FOR | 000000f0 54 48 45 20 52 45 53 54 20 4f 46 20 4f 55 52 20 |THE REST OF OUR | 00000100 4c 49 56 45 53 2e 20 20 42 55 54 20 44 49 44 4e |LIVES. BUT DIDN| 00000110 27 54 20 4f 53 43 41 52 20 57 49 4c 44 45 20 53 |'T OSCAR WILDE S| 00000120 41 59 20 22 49 4d 49 54 41 54 49 4f 4e 20 49 53 |AY "IMITATION IS| 00000130 20 54 48 45 20 53 49 4e 43 45 52 45 53 54 20 46 | THE SINCEREST F| 00000140 4f 52 4d 20 4f 46 20 46 4c 41 54 54 45 52 59 22 |ORM OF FLATTERY"| 00000150 3f 2e 20 20 20 20 20 20 4f 4b 20 54 48 45 4e 2c |?. OK THEN,| 00000160 20 48 45 4c 4c 4f 20 41 4e 44 20 57 45 4c 43 4f | HELLO AND WELCO| 00000170 4d 45 20 54 4f 20 4d 41 4e 59 20 4d 49 4e 55 54 |ME TO MANY MINUT| 00000180 45 53 20 4f 46 20 54 52 59 49 4e 47 20 54 4f 20 |ES OF TRYING TO | 00000190 57 41 54 43 48 20 41 4e 20 41 4e 4e 4f 59 49 4e |WATCH AN ANNOYIN| 000001a0 47 20 4c 49 4e 45 20 4f 46 20 54 45 58 54 20 57 |G LINE OF TEXT W| 000001b0 41 4e 44 45 52 20 41 49 4d 4c 45 53 53 4c 59 20 |ANDER AIMLESSLY | 000001c0 41 52 4f 55 4e 44 20 54 48 45 20 53 43 52 45 45 |AROUND THE SCREE| 000001d0 4e 2e 20 4c 45 54 27 53 20 53 54 41 52 54 20 4f |N. LET'S START O| 000001e0 46 46 20 57 49 54 48 20 54 48 45 20 43 52 45 44 |FF WITH THE CRED| 000001f0 49 54 53 20 4c 49 53 54 20 28 4f 4e 45 20 57 41 |ITS LIST (ONE WA| 00000200 59 20 54 4f 20 47 45 54 20 59 4f 55 20 42 4f 52 |Y TO GET YOU BOR| 00000210 45 44 29 20 2e 2e 2e 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 54 48 |ED) ... TH| 00000220 41 4e 4b 53 20 54 4f 20 4d 45 20 28 50 41 55 4c |ANKS TO ME (PAUL| 00000230 20 4d 41 53 4f 4e 29 20 41 4e 44 20 4d 45 20 28 | MASON) AND ME (| 00000240 56 49 4e 43 45 4e 54 20 53 41 4e 44 45 52 53 29 |VINCENT SANDERS)| 00000250 20 46 4f 52 20 43 52 45 41 54 49 4e 47 20 54 48 | FOR CREATING TH| 00000260 49 53 20 44 45 4d 4f 20 57 48 49 43 48 20 4d 41 |IS DEMO WHICH MA| 00000270 4b 45 53 20 4c 49 46 45 20 57 4f 52 54 48 20 4c |KES LIFE WORTH L| 00000280 49 56 49 4e 47 2e 20 54 48 41 4e 4b 53 20 41 4c |IVING. THANKS AL| 00000290 53 4f 20 48 41 56 45 20 54 4f 20 47 4f 20 54 4f |SO HAVE TO GO TO| 000002a0 20 54 48 45 20 43 48 41 50 20 57 48 4f 20 43 41 | THE CHAP WHO CA| 000002b0 4d 45 20 55 50 20 57 49 54 48 20 54 48 45 20 49 |ME UP WITH THE I| 000002c0 44 45 41 20 4f 46 20 33 44 20 47 4c 41 53 53 45 |DEA OF 3D GLASSE| 000002d0 53 20 28 49 46 20 59 4f 55 27 52 45 20 4e 4f 54 |S (IF YOU'RE NOT| 000002e0 20 57 41 54 43 48 49 4e 47 20 54 48 49 53 20 57 | WATCHING THIS W| 000002f0 49 54 48 20 52 45 44 2f 42 4c 55 45 20 4f 4e 45 |ITH RED/BLUE ONE| 00000300 53 2c 20 49 54 27 4c 4c 20 4c 4f 4f 4b 20 41 20 |S, IT'LL LOOK A | 00000310 4c 49 54 54 4c 45 20 53 41 44 2c 20 54 4f 20 53 |LITTLE SAD, TO S| 00000320 41 59 20 54 48 45 20 4c 45 41 53 54 29 2e 20 54 |AY THE LEAST). T| 00000330 48 41 4e 4b 53 20 41 4c 53 4f 20 47 4f 20 54 4f |HANKS ALSO GO TO| 00000340 20 4f 55 52 20 50 41 52 45 4e 54 53 20 57 48 4f | OUR PARENTS WHO| 00000350 20 50 52 4f 56 49 44 45 44 20 4f 55 52 20 43 4f | PROVIDED OUR CO| 00000360 4d 50 55 54 45 52 53 20 41 4e 44 20 45 56 45 52 |MPUTERS AND EVER| 00000370 59 54 48 49 4e 47 20 45 4c 53 45 2e 20 48 45 4c |YTHING ELSE. HEL| 00000380 4c 4f 20 54 4f 20 41 4c 4c 20 54 48 4f 53 45 20 |LO TO ALL THOSE | 00000390 47 43 53 45 20 4d 4f 44 45 52 41 54 4f 52 53 20 |GCSE MODERATORS | 000003a0 4f 55 54 20 54 48 45 52 45 2c 20 59 4f 55 20 57 |OUT THERE, YOU W| 000003b0 4f 4e 44 45 52 46 55 4c 2c 20 4b 49 4e 44 2c 20 |ONDERFUL, KIND, | 000003c0 47 45 4e 45 52 4f 55 53 2c 20 47 4f 44 2d 4c 49 |GENEROUS, GOD-LI| 000003d0 4b 45 20 50 45 4f 50 4c 45 2e 20 28 57 45 27 52 |KE PEOPLE. (WE'R| 000003e0 45 20 57 41 49 54 49 4e 47 20 46 4f 52 20 4f 55 |E WAITING FOR OU| 000003f0 52 20 47 52 41 44 45 53 21 29 2e 20 54 48 41 4e |R GRADES!). THAN| 00000400 4b 53 20 41 4c 53 4f 20 54 4f 20 41 43 4f 52 4e |KS ALSO TO ACORN| 00000410 20 46 4f 52 20 44 4f 49 4e 47 20 4c 4f 54 53 20 | FOR DOING LOTS | 00000420 4f 46 20 43 4f 4d 50 4c 49 43 41 54 45 44 20 54 |OF COMPLICATED T| 00000430 48 49 4e 47 53 2c 20 41 4e 44 20 41 4c 53 4f 20 |HINGS, AND ALSO | 00000440 54 4f 20 43 4f 49 4e 2d 41 47 45 20 46 4f 52 20 |TO COIN-AGE FOR | 00000450 42 45 49 4e 47 20 41 20 57 4f 4e 44 45 52 46 55 |BEING A WONDERFU| 00000460 4c 20 53 4f 46 54 57 41 52 45 20 43 4f 4d 50 41 |L SOFTWARE COMPA| 00000470 4e 59 20 28 42 55 59 20 41 4c 4c 20 54 48 45 49 |NY (BUY ALL THEI| 00000480 52 20 47 41 4d 45 53 29 2e 20 48 45 4c 4c 4f 20 |R GAMES). HELLO | 00000490 54 4f 20 41 4c 4c 20 54 48 4f 53 45 20 4f 54 48 |TO ALL THOSE OTH| 000004a0 45 52 20 50 44 20 41 55 54 48 4f 52 53 20 4f 55 |ER PD AUTHORS OU| 000004b0 54 20 54 48 45 52 45 2c 20 42 45 54 20 59 4f 55 |T THERE, BET YOU| 000004c0 20 43 41 4e 27 54 20 43 4f 4d 45 20 55 50 20 57 | CAN'T COME UP W| 000004d0 49 54 48 20 41 4e 59 54 48 49 4e 47 20 41 53 20 |ITH ANYTHING AS | 000004e0 4e 4f 56 45 4c 20 41 53 20 54 48 49 53 21 21 21 |NOVEL AS THIS!!!| 000004f0 20 28 42 49 41 20 49 4e 20 50 41 52 54 49 43 55 | (BIA IN PARTICU| 00000500 4c 41 52 21 29 2e 20 20 54 48 41 4e 4b 53 20 41 |LAR!). THANKS A| 00000510 4c 53 4f 20 54 4f 20 54 48 45 20 4d 41 47 53 20 |LSO TO THE MAGS | 00000520 28 54 48 45 20 4d 49 43 52 4f 20 55 53 45 52 20 |(THE MICRO USER | 00000530 45 53 50 45 43 49 41 4c 4c 59 29 20 46 4f 52 20 |ESPECIALLY) FOR | 00000540 53 54 41 52 54 49 4e 47 20 55 53 20 4f 46 46 20 |STARTING US OFF | 00000550 4f 4e 20 4f 55 52 20 28 43 41 52 45 45 52 53 21 |ON OUR (CAREERS!| 00000560 3f 29 2e 20 43 48 45 45 52 53 20 41 4c 53 4f 20 |?). CHEERS ALSO | 00000570 54 4f 20 57 48 4f 45 56 45 52 20 57 52 4f 54 45 |TO WHOEVER WROTE| 00000580 20 54 48 49 53 20 53 4f 4e 47 2c 20 41 4e 44 20 | THIS SONG, AND | 00000590 57 48 4f 45 56 45 52 20 57 52 4f 54 45 20 43 4f |WHOEVER WROTE CO| 000005a0 43 4f 4e 49 5a 45 52 2e 20 54 41 20 4d 55 43 48 |CONIZER. TA MUCH| 000005b0 20 54 4f 20 41 4e 59 42 4f 44 59 20 57 45 20 46 | TO ANYBODY WE F| 000005c0 4f 52 47 4f 54 2e 20 20 20 20 2e 20 20 20 20 41 |ORGOT. . A| 000005d0 20 4e 4f 54 45 20 54 4f 20 41 4c 4c 20 59 4f 55 | NOTE TO ALL YOU| 000005e0 20 50 4f 54 45 4e 54 49 41 4c 20 48 41 43 4b 45 | POTENTIAL HACKE| 000005f0 52 53 20 4f 55 54 20 54 48 45 52 45 20 3a 20 48 |RS OUT THERE : H| 00000600 41 21 20 48 41 21 20 54 48 49 53 20 45 4e 54 49 |A! HA! THIS ENTI| 00000610 52 45 20 44 45 4d 4f 20 49 53 20 43 4f 44 45 44 |RE DEMO IS CODED| 00000620 2f 43 52 43 20 43 48 45 43 4b 45 44 20 20 2d 20 |/CRC CHECKED - | 00000630 54 52 59 20 41 4e 44 20 43 48 41 4e 47 45 20 49 |TRY AND CHANGE I| 00000640 54 20 49 46 20 59 4f 55 20 44 41 52 45 20 28 4e |T IF YOU DARE (N| 00000650 4f 54 20 41 20 56 45 52 59 20 53 55 42 53 54 41 |OT A VERY SUBSTA| 00000660 4e 54 49 41 4c 20 54 48 52 45 41 54 21 29 20 20 |NTIAL THREAT!) | 00000670 20 20 20 20 4d 45 53 53 41 47 45 20 54 4f 20 41 | MESSAGE TO A| 00000680 4e 44 52 45 57 20 3a 20 49 46 20 59 4f 55 20 46 |NDREW : IF YOU F| 00000690 49 4e 41 4c 4c 59 20 47 45 54 20 54 48 45 20 48 |INALLY GET THE H| 000006a0 41 4e 47 20 4f 46 20 41 52 4d 20 43 4f 44 45 2c |ANG OF ARM CODE,| 000006b0 20 54 52 59 20 41 4e 44 20 42 45 41 54 20 54 48 | TRY AND BEAT TH| 000006c0 49 53 21 20 20 20 20 20 49 46 20 59 4f 55 20 48 |IS! IF YOU H| 000006d0 41 44 4e 27 54 20 47 55 45 53 53 45 44 2c 20 57 |ADN'T GUESSED, W| 000006e0 45 27 52 45 20 52 41 54 48 45 52 20 43 48 55 46 |E'RE RATHER CHUF| 000006f0 46 45 44 20 57 49 54 48 20 54 48 49 53 20 44 45 |FED WITH THIS DE| 00000700 4d 4f 2c 20 41 4e 44 20 41 4e 59 20 44 4f 4e 41 |MO, AND ANY DONA| 00000710 54 49 4f 4e 53 20 43 41 4e 20 42 45 20 53 45 4e |TIONS CAN BE SEN| 00000720 54 20 54 4f 20 54 48 45 20 41 44 44 52 45 53 53 |T TO THE ADDRESS| 00000730 20 47 49 56 45 4e 20 41 54 20 54 48 45 20 45 4e | GIVEN AT THE EN| 00000740 44 2e 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 4e 4f 57 20 46 4f 52 |D. NOW FOR| 00000750 20 53 4f 4d 45 54 48 49 4e 47 20 41 20 4c 49 54 | SOMETHING A LIT| 00000760 54 4c 45 20 4d 4f 52 45 20 49 4e 54 45 52 45 53 |TLE MORE INTERES| 00000770 54 49 4e 47 20 2d 20 41 20 46 45 57 20 50 4f 4e |TING - A FEW PON| 00000780 44 45 52 45 52 53 20 57 45 20 48 41 56 45 20 44 |DERERS WE HAVE D| 00000790 49 53 43 4f 56 45 52 45 44 20 44 55 52 49 4e 47 |ISCOVERED DURING| 000007a0 20 4f 55 52 20 31 36 20 59 45 41 52 53 20 4f 4e | OUR 16 YEARS ON| 000007b0 20 54 48 49 53 20 50 4c 41 4e 45 54 20 20 20 20 | THIS PLANET | 000007c0 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 | | 000007d0 20 2a 20 54 48 45 20 50 52 49 43 45 20 4f 46 20 | * THE PRICE OF | 000007e0 41 20 52 45 53 54 41 55 52 41 4e 54 20 49 53 20 |A RESTAURANT IS | 000007f0 49 4e 56 45 52 53 45 4c 59 20 50 52 4f 50 4f 52 |INVERSELY PROPOR| 00000800 54 49 4f 4e 41 4c 20 54 4f 20 54 48 45 20 41 4d |TIONAL TO THE AM| 00000810 4f 55 4e 54 20 4f 46 20 46 4f 4f 44 20 59 4f 55 |OUNT OF FOOD YOU| 00000820 20 41 43 54 55 41 4c 4c 59 20 47 45 54 20 41 4e | ACTUALLY GET AN| 00000830 44 20 54 48 45 20 53 50 45 45 44 20 4f 46 20 53 |D THE SPEED OF S| 00000840 45 52 56 49 43 45 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 2a |ERVICE *| 00000850 20 54 48 45 20 45 46 46 4f 52 54 20 4e 45 45 44 | THE EFFORT NEED| 00000860 45 44 20 54 4f 20 57 41 4b 45 20 55 50 20 49 4e |ED TO WAKE UP IN| 00000870 20 54 48 45 20 4d 4f 52 4e 49 4e 47 20 49 53 20 | THE MORNING IS | 00000880 44 49 52 45 43 54 4c 59 20 50 52 4f 50 4f 52 54 |DIRECTLY PROPORT| 00000890 49 4f 4e 41 4c 20 54 4f 20 41 4d 4f 55 4e 54 20 |IONAL TO AMOUNT | 000008a0 4f 46 20 42 45 45 52 53 20 59 4f 55 20 48 41 44 |OF BEERS YOU HAD| 000008b0 20 54 48 45 20 4e 49 47 48 54 20 42 45 46 4f 52 | THE NIGHT BEFOR| 000008c0 45 20 28 4e 4f 54 20 54 48 41 54 20 57 45 20 57 |E (NOT THAT WE W| 000008d0 4f 55 4c 44 20 4b 4e 4f 57 20 41 4e 59 54 48 49 |OULD KNOW ANYTHI| 000008e0 4e 47 20 41 42 4f 55 54 20 54 48 41 54 2c 20 54 |NG ABOUT THAT, T| 000008f0 48 4f 55 47 48 21 29 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 |HOUGH!) | 00000900 20 2a 20 47 43 53 45 20 43 4f 55 52 53 45 57 4f | * GCSE COURSEWO| 00000910 52 4b 20 47 52 41 44 45 53 20 41 52 45 20 49 4e |RK GRADES ARE IN| 00000920 56 45 52 53 45 4c 59 20 50 52 4f 50 4f 52 54 49 |VERSELY PROPORTI| 00000930 4f 4e 41 4c 20 54 4f 20 54 48 45 20 41 4d 4f 55 |ONAL TO THE AMOU| 00000940 4e 54 20 4f 46 20 54 49 4d 45 20 59 4f 55 20 53 |NT OF TIME YOU S| 00000950 50 45 4e 44 20 44 4f 49 4e 47 20 54 48 45 4d 20 |PEND DOING THEM | 00000960 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 2a 20 54 48 | * TH| 00000970 45 20 41 4d 4f 55 4e 54 20 4f 46 20 4d 49 53 54 |E AMOUNT OF MIST| 00000980 41 4b 45 53 20 4d 41 44 45 20 44 55 52 49 4e 47 |AKES MADE DURING| 00000990 20 54 59 50 49 4e 47 20 49 53 20 44 49 52 45 43 | TYPING IS DIREC| 000009a0 54 4c 59 20 50 52 4f 50 4f 52 54 49 4f 4e 41 4c |TLY PROPORTIONAL| 000009b0 20 54 4f 20 54 48 45 20 55 52 47 45 4e 43 59 20 | TO THE URGENCY | 000009c0 46 4f 52 20 43 4f 4d 50 4c 45 54 49 4f 4e 20 20 |FOR COMPLETION | 000009d0 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 2a 20 54 48 45 20 55 53 | * THE US| 000009e0 45 46 55 4c 4e 45 53 53 20 4f 46 20 41 4e 59 20 |EFULNESS OF ANY | 000009f0 50 41 52 54 20 4f 46 20 41 43 4f 52 4e 27 53 20 |PART OF ACORN'S | 00000a00 50 52 4d 20 49 53 20 20 49 4e 56 45 52 53 45 4c |PRM IS INVERSEL| 00000a10 59 20 50 52 4f 50 4f 52 54 49 4f 4e 41 4c 20 54 |Y PROPORTIONAL T| 00000a20 4f 20 54 48 45 20 41 4d 4f 55 4e 54 20 4f 46 20 |O THE AMOUNT OF | 00000a30 53 50 41 43 45 20 54 48 45 59 20 41 4c 4c 4f 43 |SPACE THEY ALLOC| 00000a40 41 54 45 20 54 4f 20 49 54 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 |ATE TO IT | 00000a50 20 20 20 2a 20 54 48 45 20 4e 55 4d 42 45 52 20 | * THE NUMBER | 00000a60 4f 46 20 57 49 54 54 59 3f 20 43 4f 4d 4d 45 4e |OF WITTY? COMMEN| 00000a70 54 53 20 53 55 43 48 20 41 53 20 54 48 45 53 45 |TS SUCH AS THESE| 00000a80 20 49 53 20 49 4e 56 45 52 53 45 4c 59 20 50 52 | IS INVERSELY PR| 00000a90 4f 50 4f 52 54 49 4f 4e 41 4c 20 54 4f 20 54 48 |OPORTIONAL TO TH| 00000aa0 45 20 49 4e 54 45 4c 4c 49 47 45 4e 43 45 20 4f |E INTELLIGENCE O| 00000ab0 46 20 54 48 45 20 41 55 54 48 4f 52 20 20 20 20 |F THE AUTHOR | 00000ac0 20 20 20 20 20 20 2a 20 54 48 45 20 49 4e 54 45 | * THE INTE| 00000ad0 52 45 53 54 20 59 4f 55 20 41 52 45 20 53 48 4f |REST YOU ARE SHO| 00000ae0 57 49 4e 47 20 49 4e 20 54 48 45 53 45 20 49 53 |WING IN THESE IS| 00000af0 20 44 49 52 45 43 54 4c 59 20 50 52 4f 50 4f 52 | DIRECTLY PROPOR| 00000b00 54 49 4f 4e 41 4c 20 54 4f 20 4e 49 4c 20 20 20 |TIONAL TO NIL | 00000b10 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 42 45 43 41 55 | BECAU| 00000b20 53 45 20 4f 46 20 54 48 45 20 4c 41 53 54 20 20 |SE OF THE LAST | 00000b30 54 57 4f 20 43 4f 4d 4d 45 4e 54 53 2c 20 57 45 |TWO COMMENTS, WE| 00000b40 27 56 45 20 44 45 43 49 44 45 44 20 54 4f 20 53 |'VE DECIDED TO S| 00000b50 54 4f 50 20 54 48 49 53 20 48 45 52 45 2e 20 20 |TOP THIS HERE. | 00000b60 20 20 20 50 53 2c 20 57 48 49 4c 45 20 57 52 49 | PS, WHILE WRI| 00000b70 54 49 4e 47 20 54 48 49 53 20 53 43 52 4f 4c 4c |TING THIS SCROLL| 00000b80 59 20 49 4e 20 45 44 49 54 20 53 4f 4d 45 20 53 |Y IN EDIT SOME S| 00000b90 54 52 41 4e 47 45 20 54 48 49 4e 47 53 20 53 45 |TRANGE THINGS SE| 00000ba0 45 4d 20 54 4f 20 42 45 20 48 41 50 50 45 4e 49 |EM TO BE HAPPENI| 00000bb0 4e 47 20 2d 20 4c 49 4e 45 53 20 47 4f 20 4d 49 |NG - LINES GO MI| 00000bc0 53 53 49 4e 47 20 41 4e 44 20 59 4f 55 20 45 4e |SSING AND YOU EN| 00000bd0 44 20 55 50 20 57 49 54 48 20 56 45 52 59 20 4c |D UP WITH VERY L| 00000be0 49 54 54 4c 45 20 52 49 47 48 54 20 28 41 20 42 |ITTLE RIGHT (A B| 00000bf0 49 54 20 4c 49 4b 45 20 47 43 53 45 20 43 4f 55 |IT LIKE GCSE COU| 00000c00 52 53 45 57 4f 52 4b 20 4f 4e 43 45 20 59 4f 55 |RSEWORK ONCE YOU| 00000c10 27 56 45 20 48 41 4e 44 45 44 20 54 48 45 4d 20 |'VE HANDED THEM | 00000c20 49 4e 29 2e 20 49 46 20 59 4f 55 20 41 52 45 20 |IN). IF YOU ARE | 00000c30 41 43 54 55 41 4c 4c 59 20 52 45 41 44 49 4e 47 |ACTUALLY READING| 00000c40 20 54 48 49 53 20 53 43 52 4f 4c 4c 59 2c 20 59 | THIS SCROLLY, Y| 00000c50 4f 55 20 4d 55 53 54 20 42 45 20 45 58 54 52 45 |OU MUST BE EXTRE| 00000c60 4d 45 4c 59 20 42 4f 52 45 44 20 57 49 54 48 20 |MELY BORED WITH | 00000c70 54 48 45 20 53 48 41 50 45 53 2c 20 4f 52 20 43 |THE SHAPES, OR C| 00000c80 41 4e 27 54 20 53 45 45 20 54 48 45 20 33 44 20 |AN'T SEE THE 3D | 00000c90 45 46 46 45 43 54 2e 20 54 48 49 53 20 43 41 4e |EFFECT. THIS CAN| 00000ca0 20 42 45 20 43 41 55 53 45 44 20 42 59 20 4f 4e | BE CAUSED BY ON| 00000cb0 45 20 4f 46 20 54 57 4f 20 54 48 49 4e 47 53 20 |E OF TWO THINGS | 00000cc0 3a 20 31 29 20 59 4f 55 20 41 52 45 20 43 4f 4c |: 1) YOU ARE COL| 00000cd0 4f 55 52 20 42 4c 49 4e 44 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 |OUR BLIND | 00000ce0 20 20 32 29 20 59 4f 55 20 48 41 56 45 20 59 4f | 2) YOU HAVE YO| 00000cf0 55 52 20 4d 4f 4e 49 54 4f 52 2f 54 56 20 53 45 |UR MONITOR/TV SE| 00000d00 54 20 55 50 20 54 4f 20 53 55 49 54 20 54 48 45 |T UP TO SUIT THE| 00000d10 20 43 4f 4c 4f 55 52 20 53 43 48 45 4d 45 20 4f | COLOUR SCHEME O| 00000d20 46 20 41 20 43 48 41 4d 45 4c 45 4f 4e 20 4f 4e |F A CHAMELEON ON| 00000d30 20 48 45 41 54 2e 20 48 4f 57 20 41 42 4f 55 54 | HEAT. HOW ABOUT| 00000d40 20 53 4f 4d 45 20 54 48 4f 55 47 48 54 53 20 4f | SOME THOUGHTS O| 00000d50 4e 20 4c 49 46 45 20 3a 20 22 4c 49 46 45 20 49 |N LIFE : "LIFE I| 00000d60 53 20 52 41 54 48 45 52 20 4c 49 4b 45 20 41 20 |S RATHER LIKE A | 00000d70 54 49 4e 20 4f 46 20 53 41 52 44 49 4e 45 53 3a |TIN OF SARDINES:| 00000d80 20 57 45 27 52 45 20 41 4c 4c 20 4f 46 20 55 53 | WE'RE ALL OF US| 00000d90 20 4c 4f 4f 4b 49 4e 47 20 46 4f 52 20 54 48 45 | LOOKING FOR THE| 00000da0 20 4b 45 59 22 2c 20 4f 52 20 45 56 45 4e 20 22 | KEY", OR EVEN "| 00000db0 4c 49 46 45 20 49 53 20 41 4e 20 49 4e 43 55 52 |LIFE IS AN INCUR| 00000dc0 41 42 4c 45 20 44 49 53 45 41 53 45 22 2c 20 4d |ABLE DISEASE", M| 00000dd0 41 59 42 45 20 45 56 45 4e 20 22 4c 49 46 45 20 |AYBE EVEN "LIFE | 00000de0 49 53 20 4a 55 53 54 20 4f 4e 45 20 44 41 4d 4e |IS JUST ONE DAMN| 00000df0 45 44 20 54 48 49 4e 47 20 41 46 54 45 52 20 41 |ED THING AFTER A| 00000e00 4e 4f 54 48 45 52 22 20 28 41 20 42 49 54 20 4c |NOTHER" (A BIT L| 00000e10 49 4b 45 20 54 48 49 53 20 53 43 52 4f 4c 4c 20 |IKE THIS SCROLL | 00000e20 54 45 58 54 29 2e 20 41 4d 42 52 4f 53 45 20 42 |TEXT). AMBROSE B| 00000e30 49 45 52 43 45 20 57 41 53 20 4f 4e 43 45 20 51 |IERCE WAS ONCE Q| 00000e40 55 4f 54 45 44 20 41 53 20 53 41 59 49 4e 47 20 |UOTED AS SAYING | 00000e50 22 44 49 41 47 4e 4f 53 49 53 20 49 53 20 54 48 |"DIAGNOSIS IS TH| 00000e60 45 20 50 48 59 53 49 43 49 41 4e 27 53 20 41 52 |E PHYSICIAN'S AR| 00000e70 54 20 4f 46 20 44 45 54 45 52 4d 49 4e 49 4e 47 |T OF DETERMINING| 00000e80 20 54 48 45 20 43 4f 4e 44 49 54 49 4f 4e 20 4f | THE CONDITION O| 00000e90 46 20 54 48 45 20 50 41 54 49 45 4e 54 27 53 20 |F THE PATIENT'S | 00000ea0 50 55 52 53 45 20 49 4e 20 4f 52 44 45 52 20 54 |PURSE IN ORDER T| 00000eb0 4f 20 46 49 4e 44 20 4f 55 54 20 48 4f 57 20 53 |O FIND OUT HOW S| 00000ec0 49 43 4b 20 54 4f 20 4d 41 4b 45 20 54 48 45 4d |ICK TO MAKE THEM| 00000ed0 22 2e 20 42 55 54 20 45 4e 4f 55 47 48 20 4f 46 |". BUT ENOUGH OF| 00000ee0 20 55 4e 46 41 4d 4f 55 53 20 50 45 4f 50 4c 45 | UNFAMOUS PEOPLE| 00000ef0 27 53 20 51 55 4f 54 45 53 2c 20 4c 45 54 27 53 |'S QUOTES, LET'S| 00000f00 20 47 45 54 20 4f 4e 20 57 49 54 48 20 20 53 4f | GET ON WITH SO| 00000f10 4d 45 20 4d 4f 52 45 20 43 4c 49 43 48 45 44 20 |ME MORE CLICHED | 00000f20 53 43 52 4f 4c 4c 59 20 2e 2e 2e 20 20 20 20 20 |SCROLLY ... | 00000f30 20 20 20 48 45 4c 4c 4f 20 54 4f 20 41 4c 4c 20 | HELLO TO ALL | 00000f40 54 48 45 20 50 45 4f 50 4c 45 20 57 45 20 44 4f |THE PEOPLE WE DO| 00000f50 4e 27 54 20 4b 4e 4f 57 20 4f 55 54 20 54 48 45 |N'T KNOW OUT THE| 00000f60 52 45 2c 20 4a 55 53 54 20 41 20 53 45 43 4f 4e |RE, JUST A SECON| 00000f70 44 20 2d 20 49 53 20 41 4e 59 42 4f 44 59 20 53 |D - IS ANYBODY S| 00000f80 54 49 4c 4c 20 54 48 45 52 45 3f 20 41 52 45 20 |TILL THERE? ARE | 00000f90 59 4f 55 20 53 54 49 4c 4c 20 52 45 41 44 49 4e |YOU STILL READIN| 00000fa0 47 20 54 48 49 53 3f 20 48 41 56 45 4e 27 54 20 |G THIS? 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